


a scan of my unmade plans

by plinys



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Demons, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Telepathic Bond, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-07-24 20:41:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 39,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16182803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plinys/pseuds/plinys
Summary: "I've only ever been with two men: Ray and Mallus."[or: In which, Ray and Nora hooked up in Berlin and didn't give it a second thought. Until five months later Nora, on the run from both the Time Bureau and something far more sinister, finds herself seeking help from the Legends. And suddenly theside effectsof their encounter in Berlin become very obvious to the entire team. A secret no longer. Nora must figure out where she fits in with the Legends, while fighting her own demons, both literal and physical. While Ray figures out how to get through to Nora, how to convince the Time Bureau that she's not a threat, and how to keep his newfound family safe.]





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm well aware that there are like eight people in the DarhkAtom fandom, and a probably even smaller number that are into baby fics. But I watched Courtney's scenes in Supernatural and ever since had very much wanted to write a baby au. Then this past week I got EVEN MORE IDEAS based off a hint that in canon they hooked up in Berlin (I even wrote another fic about that, go check it out if you're into smut) and somehow this fic happened. 
> 
> Prologue is a bit short, and a bit confusing, but the rest of the chapters will be longer and make more sense (I promise)! Enjoy! (The first real chapter will be up first thing tomorrow morning!)

This had never been part of her plan.

Not that Nora really had ever had a plan more than smile and play nice until the moment to escape from the Time Bureau had come. Not that Nora had ever had any plans at all, at least not ones that were her own rather than ones whispered in her ear by the demonic presence that she had grown familiar with as a child. 

But this… 

Nothing could have accounted for this.

A part of her, the terribly selfish part of her that Nora seldom actually listens to, almost wishes that Mallus was back if only so that she didn’t feel so alone in all of this. If only for that little push, that guidance that she needed before, and that she wouldn’t mind receiving now.

But there had been a cost for that then.

A cost that Nora could not dare spare now.

Not when it would be so much more than just her life on the line. 

She lets out a shaky breath and tries to focus, tries to recenter herself, listening for the distant sounds of whatever had been chasing her. The same thing that has been chasing her for the last few months. 

It was slow at first, she could stay in the same place for a while, rented rooms in the places in time where nobody looked twice at a young woman that kept her head down. She could manage. She had managed. 

Until recently…

Recently, it had gotten worse.

What used to be weeks before they found her turned had into days which had turned into hours.

Her father’s time stone - hers, now - feels heavier in her hand than usual. The blood - her blood, for the most part - staining her hands, a sharp contrast to the shining onyx of the stone. She can’t do it again, can’t make another jump. Not injured the way she is and not so soon after the last one.

She needs to keep moving, to focus what her magic on healing her rather than fighting, if there was even a chance of surviving this.

But her legs shake even after the first step and she slumps back down against the wall of parking garage. She’s not certain what city she is in, not certain of the date or time, had her head been more clear she would’ve tried to judge based on the cars around her. 

There's a sound somewhere a car’s alarm going off. Caused likely by her sudden appearance with the time stone. 

It echoes around the space that is otherwise void of noise. 

Pounds against her head.

Nora tries to take a steadying breath.

One.

Then another.

Her hand, bloodied still, presses against her stomach. Pain there that worries her. Worry that Nora can’t focus on, not now, not if she wants to make it out.

Later.

She reaches out lightly with her magic. A gentle touch. A confirmation of an echo reflecting back to her. 

And something…

Something more.

Someone else, just there at the edge of her consciousness.

Nora pulls her hand sharply away from her stomach, reaching out in front of her, protective more than combative.

If there is someone out there.

_ Something  _ out there.

She isn’t certain that there’s enough energy in her left to fight. But she has to try. 

She reaches out with her powers. Trying to sense what it could be… Who it could be...

Another Witch or Warlock? 

The  _ thing t _ hat has been hunting her?

No.

Someone.

Someone that is familiar.

Someone that she knows.

Someone that she can feel a connection to despite their distance.

Someone that - “Ray?”

_ Ray _ .

That can’t be right?

Can it be just another hallucination of her foggy mind?

There’s no way to be sure.

But she swears for a second, inside her head, she hears the echo of her name - concerned and desperate, reaching back out to her - “Nora?!”

And then it all goes black.

  
  
  



	2. Chapter One - Ray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so floored by all the response to the prologue I was not expecting this but I am SO HAPPY! Here's the first real chapter!

He had heard her.

Somehow through all of time. 

He had heard her, clear as day, in the back of his mind.

It had to be a fluke. Scientifically speaking it made no sense. But it had happened. They’d been following a lead from the Time Bureau, something that had been flagged as an anachronism likely caused by magic, figuring that it was once again another one of their misplaced fantasy creatures.

_ A demon _ .

A demon that had been chasing someone.

Not just someone… Nora.

“Ray? Are you listening?” 

“I - uh, no, sorry.” 

It felt a bit silly. This whole situation. Sitting there in Sara’s office, Ava pacing about in her Time Bureau suit (because they had been following a Bureau flagged lead when they stumbled upon Nora and  _ technically  _ she was a criminal, at least by the Time Bureau’s judgement). He feels like he’s being scolded, despite the fact that he’s a fully grown adult who did nothing wrong.

Sure there was the whole helping Nora break out thing… Which wasn’t exactly legal… But really…. 

He always knew that at some point the Time Bureau would find out that he had helped Nora. He had been prepared to argue in her defense, to insist that Nora hadn’t done anything wrong, that what happened to her made her the victim not the villain. He’d rehearsed this, been ready for this moment. 

He just hadn’t expected it to be like this. 

To have something more than just Nora’s freedom on the line. 

Seeing her again, had been both a relief (to see her alive, and not behind bars), and a shock (understandable given the circumstances).

He hadn’t known for sure when they’d seen the notification of the anachronism that he would find her, how could he have, but he had hoped.

Foolishly. 

Ever since Ray gave Nora the time stone he had been looking for her. Desperate to find her again. To know that she was okay. To know that she wasn’t the criminal the Time Bureau made her out to be. That she was out there, living her life for the first time, being good and normal, and not actively plotting to break all of time for her own merriment.

But there had been nothing for so long that he had almost given up looking for her. 

Almost.

Never completely.

He could never give up on her completely.

(And he then had  _ heard  _ her.)

“I could have you arrested,” Ava says, “I  _ should  _ have you arrest, that’s what protocol demands. Do you know what the sentencing is supposed to be for someone that helps a known fugitive escape from the Time Bureau?”

He’s almost certain that she won’t do it, because they’re the Legends, which means they usually get cut a little slack. And there’s no way Sara would let her toss him into some Time Bureau cell, at least, not without the Legends planning a break out less than a day later. Hopefully.

But Nora wasn’t so safe. 

He had spent a lot of time thinking about that since he gave her the time stone. Most of it wondering where she was or what she could be doing out there. But there was always a worry of what would happen if she was caught… Not because he thought that she would tell them that he was the one that helped her escape. But because she didn’t deserve that. Nobody deserves to be locked away for all of time in Ray’s opinion.

Nora least of all.

There is good inside of her.

He knows this. He has known this since the moment he met her. Working together in Berlin had only solidified that, and everything else that came after…

He still swears that he felt something when their hands tough, just for a moment, a spark, proof that there was still a chance to save her. That she was not too far gone. That she never had been.

“You didn’t arrest Rip,” Sara points out. “It’s not that different, when you really think about it.” 

“It is,” Ava insists. 

“If it had been me, in her place, you really wouldn’t have done the same?”

“We wouldn’t have been in that situation,” Ava correctly points out. “We’re both women.” 

“We Legends look out for each other,” Sara insists, “ _ All  _ Legends. Past, present, and  _ future _ .” 

Ava makes a face at that, turning to her girlfriend, “I’m not going to arrest Ray, I could,” she reminds them both, “But I won’t… I just,” She turns to him, a look more disappointed than anything else on her face. “You could have said something. I know we’re not exactly friends, but I’m not entirely heartless. We would’ve have made accommodations had we been aware of the situation. ”  

That’s the thing. 

The one assumption that he can’t correct.

Not if he wants to save her, not if he wants to save both of them.

This is overwhelming enough as it was, and the fact that he doesn’t have much of a poker face isn’t helping. At least, he seems to have Sara on his side, for now. Though he’s not one hundred percent certain that that wouldn’t change if he were to admit that finding Nora as they did was as much of a shock to him as it was to everyone else.

Of all the situations he had imagined finding Nora in… This was definitely not one of them.

“I - Well, Actually I-” 

“Pardon the interruption,” Gideon cuts him off. 

Ray has never been more thankful for the AI’s interruption. 

“It’s alright, Gideon,” Sara replies. 

“Miss Darhk has woken up.”

He doesn’t wait for a dismissal, doesn’t wait for permission or even another word, he’s out of there as quick as he can. He had wanted to be there when she woke up, had insisted upon it, but there was discussion to be had and leaving Nora in John’s care (and Gideon’s, technically) was enough to make Ray anxious.

He could all too remember the last time Nora had woken up in the Waverider’s medbay. Hurting and scared, shocked at the news of her unexpected survival and the death of her father. He had held onto her, marveling at how small she was in his arms, and how he knew in that instant that he would do everything in his power to protect her no matter what. 

A feeling that only grows as he sees her now. 

She looks better than she had when they first brought her in. Bleeding, injured, passing out the second he held her as if she had only just been hanging onto awareness waiting for him. 

There’s color in her cheeks now, and despite the fact that she’s still in her bloodstained clothing, she doesn’t seem to be injured at all. 

He can’t help but notice that she’s tense when they enter the room, and whatever terse conversation she had been having John falls silent at once as she turns to look at him. He swears that the tension she’s carrying deflates just a little at the sight of him. 

For a second their eyes meet and it’s like they’re the only two people in the room. As if all of time has slowed down and stopped at the sight of the two of them together.

He needs to talk to her, desperately, because this is a lot to process. Because the last time they’d seen each other feels like a lifetime ago. Because he cared about her. Because Nora is pregnant with what can surely only be his child and that… Ray doesn’t even know where to begin with that.

They need to talk.

Soon.

Preferably without the entire crew of the Waverider and two Time Bureau agents in attendance. 

Later, in private.

Nora nods a little, as if understanding exactly what he’s thinking. 

He’s close enough to touch her, to reach out and hold onto her, and he wants to so desperately. But he won’t without her permission, so he holds back. Lets his hand rest against the armrest of her MedBay chair instead. 

“How are you feeling?”

Nora grimaces. “I’ve been better. Would be doing a lot better if the entire Spanish Inquisition wasn’t staring me down.” She glances over his shoulder.

Ray doesn’t have to turn to know that the rest of the team is there. The Legends always have had a problem with boundaries, something that normally Ray likes, it was good for the team dynamics, built them up like a family. An incredibly nosy family. 

_ His  _ family.

“Sorry,” he says, softer, apologizing to her. Focusing on her. Because despite the fact that the rest of the team listening in right now Nora is the only person that matters. 

She softens, just a little, just for him. The smallest flicker of a smile. “Your robot helper said I’m all all patched up.”

On cue Gideon speaks, a hint of annoyance in her voice. “Miss Darhk and the baby are both perfectly healthy.”

_ And the baby _ .

A small bit of tension, of worry, that Ray had been holding onto since the second he saw Nora - hurt, bleeding, a look a fear on her face, and  _ pregnant _ \- dissipates at Gideon’s confirmation of their health.

“That’s-“ Ray lets out a small sigh of relief, “That’s good. I was worried.”

“You don’t have to worry about me,” Nora insists.

Ray wants to argue that. To tell her that he’s been worried for months. That he worried when he heard the news that she had used the time stone - the one that he had given her - to escape. A worry that had only grown when he’d seen the wanted posters at the Time Bureau. A worry that was increasing constantly now that he knows that she had spent the last few months alone, on the run from a demon, and pregnant on top of all of that. 

Nora makes a face at him, as if sensing that he wants to argue that, ever stubborn as she insists, “I can take care of myself.” 

“I know you can, I-“

Though Ray is cut off by a dismissive noise from John. Suddenly once again aware of their audience. 

Nora shoot John a glare.

“We talked about this, love.” 

Ray tenses at John’s casual familiarity with Nora. He’s not normally like this, but there’s something about this whole situation that makes a small part of him possessive over Nora. She’s not his. Not really. They only ever had one night. Barely even that. 

And despite how he’s felt about her since then… This  _ baby  _ doesn’t have to mean anything more than that.

“That thing chasing you isn’t about to stop until it gets what it wants,” John continues.

“I can take care of it,” Nora replies, a hint of anger in her voice. “I’ll be better prepared next time, and I’ll-“

“End up nearly dead again,” John finished for her.

“I know what I’m doing!”

“I’ve faced my fair share of demons, and this one-“

“So have I.”

“There’s a difference between being possessed and actually fighting, love.”

John’s words are like a slap in the face to Nora. And Ray can see at once, when the anger on her face flickers to something like hurt just for a moment. Whatever conversation had been occurring before Ray showed up hadn’t been a good one.

He can feel it too, that same anger, the same flicker of hurt.

John knows all the ways to press people right where it hurts. Their own insecurities. Was he not the one that had advised Ray repeatedly that looking for Nora, that believing in her was a mistake and would only lead to hurt? Giving voice to all his own insecurities. 

And now John was doing that to Nora.

Ray couldn’t let that happen. Not now. Not in the state that she’s in. 

“And what does it want,” Ray finds himself asking, looking between the two of them, needing some way to redirect their negative energies from each other to something else. 

They both turn to look at him at once. 

Nora says, “Nothing.”

At the same time John says, “The baby.”

The baby.

He had assumed.

He had guessed.

The way they had found her, it had made sense when he tried to put all the pieces together, the only real logical conclusion.

And yet, still he can’t help but ask, “Why?”

A question that neither of them answer.

Both falling silent at once.

A silence that stretches onward, only to be broken by Nate,  “Is anyone going to ask about the elephant in the room?”

Nora hadn’t been wrong sometimes the team did feel a bit like the  _ Spanish Inquisition _ . 

“Are we sure the kid is even Ray’s,” Nate asks. Ray shoots his best friend a look, and Nate gives him an apologetic look in reply. “Look we were all thinking it!”

One glance around the gathered team confirms as much. 

“Gideon,” Sara prompts. 

The AI responds instantly, already knowing what they want to ask, “There’s no way to know for certain without running more tests post-birth, however, based on my readings Miss Darhk is a little over six months along.”

Six months.

That’s how long she had been running.

How long Ray had been going about his life without even knowing. 

“Yeah, but when would they even have had-”

“Berlin,” Ray cuts them off. 

He knows the answer at once.

As if it were spoken directly into his mind in an all too familiar voice.

It had to have been Berlin. He can remember it clearly. How he’d tried to think nothing of it in the moment. Just Nora smiling at him over a glass of stolen wine, the sound of a record in the background, passing time until the morning sun would rise and they could enact their plan to get across the border, neither of them able to sleep. He hadn’t known then what it would lead to. It was supposed to be nothing. ‘No strings attached’, she had said back then. And he had willed himself to try and believe that.

But Nora had been there, so close, and when they had kissed it had felt right. 

Not just something done spur of the moment to pass the time, but something more than that, something that drew Ray back to her time and time again, enough to cheat time to save her life.

Not knowing then that he had saved more than her life. 

Nora’s fingers brush against his, holding him there, next to her seat in the medbay, not that Ray had any intention of leaving her. And he feels it again, that spark, that proof of something good and real. 

“I’ve only ever been with two men,” Nora says, “Ray and Mallus.” 

There’s something about the way she says it, squeezing down on his hand a little so he turns and catches her eye. A little joke. Just for them. Like she knows exactly how the team will react. The way she smiles just a little at Ray as she does so. 

There’s a cacophony of noise following the statement voices overlapping each other. John, Zari, Nate, and Ava, all speaking at once.

“Well, love, that would explain-”

“Does that mean that she-”

“So there’s a chance that-”

“This really shouldn’t-”

“-Why it’s hunting you.”

“-Fucked Mallus!?”

“-It’s not actually yours-“

“-be a Legends situation.”

“I’ve seen a demon birth before-“

“How is that even-“

“-That means no custody payments!”

“Miss Darhk is a criminal, irregardless-“

“-Wasn’t pretty.”

“-Possible like wasn’t he massive-”

“Not as big-

“-And should be-“ 

“We don’t need a repeat of that.”

“-Don’t you dare finish that sentence!”

“-As Ray.”

“-Returned to Time Bureau custody.” 

“Alright,” Sara shouts, loud over the mix of voices. “One at a time.”

They quiet down at the sound of her voice.

Ava the first to regain her composure once more. “If there’s a chance that Miss Darhk is carrying the offspring of a time demon then we  _ need _ to take her back into Time Bureau custody immediately.”

“You really think that your agents are equipped to handle a demon, Sharpie,” John asks, mockingly skeptical.

“If we had been aware of the situation ahead of time-“

“What would you have done,” Nora cuts Ava off. Righteous fury in her voice. “Given me the pregnancy suite, the nicest of the cells?” 

She’s still holding onto Ray’s hand. Her grasp tighter now. 

The urge to protect her flares up again. He won’t let Ava take her back to a cell, even if it means fighting against his whole team. Nora has her timestone and Ray’s almost certain he could make it safely to the jump ship if need be. He’s got no experience fighting demons, not really, but he’s made an anti magic gun before. If that was what it took… 

He’d do whatever it took to protect her.

To protect  _ them _ .

“As I told Doctor Palmer,” Ava starts. “Had he alerted us to your situation before it reached this point we would have been willing to make accommodations?”

“So suddenly I’m not a criminal just because I’m pregnant?”

“No,  _ you  _ are still a criminal, Miss Darhk,” Ava says, “But assuming that child is Doctor Palmer’s then it is innocent of  _ your  _ crimes. Visitation rights could be arranged.”

“ _ Visitation rights _ ,” Nora echoes. 

He refused to imagine that. To think about Nora in some Time Bureau cell where he can only see her once a month. With the child that she wouldn’t be there to raise.

Ray had grown up with only one parent. The product of a bitter divorce that had split twins apart in the process. The idea of their child growing up to only know Nora as a stranger they see behind bars… He wouldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t. 

“Nora hasn’t done anything wrong,” Ray insists. Ready now to give his rehearsed statement of her innocence.

Only to be stopped by Nora squeezing down on his hand once more.

When Nora’s speaks, her voice is deathly cold, “Yet.”

“Is that a threat Miss Darhk,” Ava asks. Her own voice equally cold. 

Ray doesn’t miss the way Sara tenses at that, moving protectively closer to her girlfriend. Just as Ray shifts his own position to protect Nora. 

If this came to that, he would choose Nora over his own team. 

He’d choose Nora over anyone. 

“Look, why don’t we all just sleep on it for the night,” Sara eventually says. “It’s late.”  

It’s not much.

Certainly not enough.

And Ray knows that this discussion is far from over.

But for now it’s enough.

A barely brokered peace offering. 

Slowly as if finally taking the hint the rest the rest of the team seems to disappear. Some quicker than others. Ray swears some of the tightness in his chest - concern, he tells himself, not anger, - disappears when Ava finally follows Sara out of the MedBay. 

The last to go is John who simply casts a long look at Nora and says, “Think about it, love, the offer is always there,” before leaving. 

He waits until John leaves before asking, “What was that about?”

Nora looks pointedly away from, “It’s none of your business.”

Ray resists the urge to insist that maybe it should be. Since he’s pretty certain that it involves the baby - the one that he clearly had a certain part in creating. But he knows instantly that those aren’t the right words. Nora doesn’t need to hear that, not now, not after the day she’s had. Days maybe, Weeks? Months?

“At some point,” Ray says, softly, gently, as if speaking to a wounded animal, “We should talk about this…. Whole… This thing.”

Nora’s gaze snaps back to him. 

Harsh and angry.

The way she had looked at him once, ages ago, before Berlin and everything that came after.

But also there’s a hint of hurt underneath her expression.

Somehow that much he can tell.

Nora’s always been hard to read, but now he’s finding her just a bit easier to read. Slowly beginning to be able to decode her small expressions. To look past the defensive walls that she puts up like it’s second nature.

“You mean the part where we had one  _ decent _ night together, and now I’m stuck living with the consequences?”

She’s hurting, and she wants him to hurt too.

He knows that.

He gets it.

But he can’t help but feel a stab of betrayal at her words. 

“You don’t mean that,” he tells hers.

Nora rolls her eyes. Still stubborn. “Fine, it was great sex.”

Ray ignores her deflection of the situation. “I would have helped you. I could’ve been there. I  _ wish  _ I had been there.”

“I don’t need help,” Nora insists again. “And really what could you have done? Against a demon?”

“I could’ve gone with you. I wanted to,” Ray admits. To her and to himself for the first time. “I gave you that time stone because I believed in you, because I still do, there’s good inside of you.”

Nora’s hand pressing against her stomach at his words. That hurt expression back again. 

Good inside of her.

“Innocent of  _ my  _ crimes,” Nora says. The first soft spoken word she’s said in all of this. 

Regret.

But for what he can’t tell.

“That’s not what I meant,” Ray insists, his own regret bitter on his tongue that he didn’t think this through. Didn’t plan his words out as carefully as he could.

Nora doesn’t answer him.

Doesn’t even acknowledge him really.

He hadn’t realized that he was still holding her hand until finally she tugs her hand away. The absence of her touch suddenly the only thing he is aware of.

That and a cold feeling that seems to spread through his body that seems to overtake him as he watches Nora move to the MedBay doors with the intention to leave. A vice like grip. Making it hard to breathe.

“Nora, I-“

“Is there a spare room on this ship or something,” Nora asks, not turning around. “Since I’m apparently staying the night.”

He would offer his own room. Take the floor himself. If only to keep Nora close to him -  _ safe,  _ he has to keep her safe. But he had a feeling that she would turn that down. Especially now given how he had already messed things up. 

“You can take Wally’s old room for the night, it’s empty, and it’s in science quarters-“ So it’s close to his own. Closer than any other options. “I can show you the way, maybe stop by the fabrication room to get you some new clothes.” 

His eyes flicker reflexively to her still bloodstained clothes. 

She may be healed up now, but the signs that she hadn’t been not too long before are still there. 

Hurting, reaching out, calling for him without words - they need to talk about that too at some point. Probably sooner rather than later.

Though he can’t bring it up now.

Not just yet.

Not when Nora does then turn back to look at him and gives him the smallest of smiles. The only hint if a real peace offering that he’s gotten throughout all of this - “That would be nice.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be at NYCC this weekend but Chapter Two should be up Monday when I return home!


	3. Chapter Two - Nora

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get this up before I fly back to Chicago from New York! (Bonus point to all those who are amazing and leave me comments to read once I'm off the plane!)

Nora isn’t entirely certain that this is better than being on the run.

Certainly, there’s nobody chasing her. And there is way the demon that is chasing her can reach her as long as they’re floating up here in the temporal zone. 

At least, that’s what John had insisted, and while Nora was hesitant to take any advice from John, she had to admit that there was sometimes where he may know more about demons that she did. 

Nora knows things.

Plenty of things.

But it’s more like how to fight alongside them, how to use their powers against them, how to broker deals that cost more than she is willing to lose, and how to finally embrace the voices in the back of her mind. 

This is new territory.

And she has to admit that it is a bit of a relief not to be running. Even if it is just for a few hours. Just for the night. Before the Time Bureau will try to pass judgement on her and Nora will have to run again.

She’s not planning on spending her life behind bars. Maybe once she had been willing to. Willing to accept the punishment for her sins. But then Ray had given her the time stone, had given her the first taste of freedom that she’s ever had. 

She wasn’t about to give that freedom up.

Especially not now.

Not with the baby.

_ Visitation rights _ , the words still echo bitter and harshly in her head.

The room she’s been given on the Waverider doesn’t feel that much different from a cell. Certainly there’s some small comforts. A bed that looks decently comfortable, with fresh sheets on it. A desk with meager writing supplies. A full length mirror along one of the walls. 

Empty and sterile, it’s last occupant having left nothing behind. 

No, not much different from a cell at all.

Stuck alone with her thoughts, Nora almost regrets not inviting Ray inside. He had stood there, looking so awkward, clearly wanting to say  _ something  _ but unable to find the right words. Before simply wishing her a good night and pointing out where his room was down the hall.

Close.

Just in case she needed anything. 

She didn’t need anything.

Didn’t need anyone.

She had been doing this so long that she refused to even considered doing it any other way. Despite how eager and earnest Ray had been.

Nora shakes her head as if chasing the thought away. Refusing to focus on the warm feelings that had overtaken her in those brief moments when Ray was looking at her and it felt like they were the only people in the room - the only people in the whole world. 

She focuses instead of changing out of her bloodstained clothes.

Her leather jacket comes off first. Draped over the back of her desk chair. Combat boots kicked off next to the chair. Then comes her jeans, dried bloody hand prints down the side of her thighs, a rip on the right knee where she stumbled and fell, mud splattered on the back. Her shirt, ripped and bloodied. 

She slips into the fabricated pajamas easily. Soft, flannel, and warm as if freshly laundered. She’s not certain that last time that she had such a little comfort as warm pajamas. Too used to sleeping in her jeans and boots, ready to go at any chance. Ready to run.

Nora can’t help but look at herself in the mirror. There’s still smudges of dirt on her face. Her hair is a mess. But the long since familiar pattern of bruises against her skin have been healed, her palms stitched back together carefully with no sign of the scrapes that were ever there, she looks the picture of health.

Normal.

Almost.

Her eyes drop lower, taking in the one part of her that keeps changing.

It has been a while since she’s had a chance to look in the mirror, caught sight of herself in more than just blurry rushed reflections. The bump has gotten bigger since the last time she’s looked.

A little over six months.

And she looked it.

It wouldn’t be much longer, a few more months and then… 

“We’re safe,” she says, she would feel a little foolish talking to herself and to the baby that certainly can’t hear her, if it wasn’t for the way just saying those words helps relieve some of the tension she’s been holding onto. “For the night.”

Nora tears his gaze away from the mirror, unwilling to look at herself any longer, and retreats to the bed. 

The lights dim of their own accord when she lies down. Probably the product of the Waverider’s incredibly invasive AI. 

_ The Waverider.  _

She hadn’t intended to end up here.

In fact, in all of her running, Nora had done her best to purposely avoid the Legends. To make as few ripples through time as possible that way they wouldn’t be able to find her.

How they had somehow been able to this time…

She would like to say that she didn’t know how. And it didn’t make sense. But she knows.

Ray.

She had felt him.

And if she wasn’t mistaken, he had felt her too.

Nora had long since learned not to question the way magic worked. She had been reaching out for help, and there he was. It didn’t mean anything. It didn’t have to. They were bound together by this baby, nothing more, despite what the magic that thummed through her veins wanted to tell her.

She can feel him now. Reaching out just a little. There’s no way he’s aware of it, not an ounce of magical potential in that man, but if she closes her eyes and reaches out with her magic she can sense him two rooms away.

Lying awake, much like she is, unable to sleep.

Time ticks by, what feels like hours of sleeplessness. Her laying there reaching out to feel Ray’s presence. To feel his swirl of emotions, as she attempts to ignore her own.

He’s worrying. 

Worrying about  _ her. _

Nora jerks her magic back quickly, pulling away from Ray, unwilling to feel that anymore. His worries, his concerns. Just a touch had been enough.

He’s worried about her, about the baby, about the Time Bureau’s verdict that would come down in the morning.

That was part of why Nora had avoided the Legends, despite knowing that if she showed up and told them that she was pregnant with Ray’s child that the Legends would have given her some sort of assistance. (They looked after their own, and even if she would never be one, Ray was.)

Still there is a chance that in the morning they will turn her into the Time Bureau.

Lock her away as a sitting duck for the demon hunting her. Take her baby away the second she gives birth.

She won’t let that happen.

She won’t lose this baby.

Not now, after everything she’s done to protect them. 

She’s certain that if they locked her up she could break out in no time. Even without her father’s time stone. Anti meta human cuffs didn’t work as much more than a mild annoyance for witches. 

But then she’d just be running again.

Nora’s tired of running.

Tired of all of this.

But apparently not tired enough to sleep.

She’s stares up at the ceiling of the room she’s been offered. The bed is too soft. The room too cool. The ship too quiet. It’s hard to get comfortable. 

She feels too on edge.

Too alone.

_ Alone _ .

No, not anymore.

She’s never truly alone anymore. 

Always plus one.

That was the other reason that she had avoided the Legends.

The baby.

Her baby.

_ Ray’s  _ baby. 

Nora had thought about this before - how could she not - what it would be like when she inevitably crossed paths with Ray again. Had imagined doing it years from now. After the baby was born. Young still, but old enough that he (or she, though Nora always imagined a son) would have started to look like his father. The resemblance undeniable.

Whenever she tried to imagine what her child will be like the image that comes up is always a little Ray. Dark hair, dark eyes, a soft smile and a warm heart. 

A good person.

_ Innocent of her crimes. _

The words still echo in her mind.

She’d raise her child to be good.

Even if she was not.

Ray was gentle. Ray was good. Ray deserved someone as good as he was, not her.

This was on her. This whole situation. She had been the one to seduce Ray. Bored, angry at her father, needing a distraction, a way to pass the time - and he had been there. Talkative and smiling despite the fact that technically he was supposed to be her prisoner.

He had been so he gentle with her. Especially when he learned that it was her first time. His hands soft against her skin. Letting her set the pace. Kissing her with such gentleness that Nora had been almost startled by it all.

It felt like something.

Something that could have been love.

And she had walked away when it was over, insisting that it was nothing, that it meant nothing. Determined to forget that it ever happened.

Something that was very clearly impossible now.

It had meant something.

It had  _ made  _ something.

Their child.

Would it really be fair to leave now? Now that Ray knew that she was pregnant. To not give Ray a chance to be in their child’s life. 

(He had said that he would have gone with her had he known before. But would he leave his team now if she asked him to?) 

She knows all too well what it’s like to grow up without a father.

Or without a mother.

And what if Ava just locks herself up once the baby is born.

“No,” Nora says. Feeling it so clearly that she can’t help but say the word.

_ No. _

She won’t lose him, won’t lose her baby.

She’s felt him grow.

She’s protected him.

She’s not going to lose him.

Not without a fight.

Ray would have to understand. 

Surely. 

And maybe down the road, a few years from now, she can find him again as she originally intended to and explain it all. Explain why she left in the middle of the night without saying goodbye.

She feels a pain in her stomach. A dull awareness. As if the baby was sensing what she was about to do. The decision that she was making.

Nora rests her hand there, reaching out to feel her child. The magic potential already there, reaching back to her. The most gentle of awareness.

“I’m sorry,” she says softly to the baby. The only person she’s ever apologized to. “I’m sorry, but I have to protect you.” 

It hurts.

A dull twist of longing and sadness settles in her chest.

Nora blinks past tears. Sadness that she’s unsure is even her own. 

“I wish this were easier,” she says, “I wish we could all be happy together.”

But things aren’t that easy.

Nothing has ever been happy and easy for her.

Nora tugs back on her leather jacket. Tosses the bloodied jeans into the bag that she had fabricated along with the two other changes of clothing that Gideon had made her. Tugs back on her combat boots over her pajama bottoms. Ties her hair back away from her face with a hair tie.

Another glance in the mirror. Feeling just a little silly dressed as she is. But ready to run. 

She exists her room. Only hesitating for a moment as she stops outside the door that she knows is Ray’s room. He’s still awake on the other side of that door.

She knows.

She can feel him.

She uses just a hint of her magic. Pushes it out to him. Taking his worries for herself, replacing them with thoughts of bone deep exhaustion until she can feel him fall asleep.

The trade off hurts her just a little.

All his worries loud as day in her mind, the way he hurts. Betrayed, concerned, wanting to help, sad that he wasn’t there and that he’s missed so much. And something else, an undercurrent of affection, something that were she anyone else could maybe have been considered to be love.

Love.

Not for her.

No.

But perhaps for their unborn child.

How could he have grown so attached to the baby this quickly, only just having learned of its existence, and yet already forming a bond?

The sadness in her chest increases.

Not her own.

Nora’s learned to differentiate from her emotions, and that of the unborn child, already a strong witch or warlock even before being born. 

(That’s why she’s being hunted. She knows that. Knew it even before  _ John Constantine  _ decided to spell it out for her.)

“I’m sorry,” she says, speaking both to the baby and to the man sleeping on the other side of the door.

The door that she turns away from, forcing herself not to look back as she makes her way to the Waverider’s kitchen. Ray had pointed it out to her before during his brief tour of the ship. She goes there now with the intention to fabric some non perishable foods. Something to make the running a little bit easier.

She supposes that she should not be entirely surprised to find the kitchen occupied.

A ship like this, with so many of them onboard… It makes sense that someone would still be awake.

And of course it would be  _ him _ .

The one other person that Nora had been hoping to actively avoid.

“Darhk.”

“Constantine.” 

“Going somewhere,” he asks her.

There’s a glass of something that smells distinctly alcoholic in his hand. It’s been a long time since she’s had a drink. A long time still before she’ll be able to have one.

She avoids answering him and instead moves to the fabricator, trying to remember how exactly it works.

“You do know running isn’t going to make this any easier,” John points out, clearly unwilling to accept that he was being ignored.

“Better than being in a cell and waiting for it to get me.”

“If Sharpie has any sense she won’t lock you up, not unless she wants the Time Bureau to try to fight a demon.”

“She hates me,” Nora points out. “I don’t think that matters to her.”

When she glances back at John she shrugs a little. That much they can agree on at least.

“You should’ve gotten rid of it when you had the chance,” John says. His eyes dropping to her stomach.

Nora can’t help the feeling of hot anger that floods her at once. 

“Excuse me,” she says, the words more of a warning than a question.

A warning that John ignores.

“People like us don’t get happily ever afters.”

“You tell yourself that every night to sleep better,” Nora asks, a bitter twist to her voice.

John shrugs. “At least, I know where I’m going where this is all over. Hell is made for monsters like us.”

Monsters.

That’s what she is.

What she’s always been.

Since the day her father sold her soul without a second thought.

“I may be damned to hell, but my child is not,” Nora snaps. 

“Whatever is hunting you is going to keep hunting you until it gets what it wants, love,” John points out. “Too late to stop that.”

Nora’s hand rests protectively on her stomach. “I won’t let it have him.”

“And you think running is the answer?”

“There isn’t an alternative.”

John makes a noncommittal noise. Disagreeing with her, but being unwilling to share his thoughts. She knows what this is. A game to get her to ask. To see how soon she cracks. 

She wishes she was strong enough not to fall for it.

Not to give in so easily.

“You have a better idea,” Nora asks, voice still dangerously tight.

John shrugs a little, ever casual. “If Little Miss Time Bureau has even a shred of intelligence she won’t lock you up. Not with no way to defend against a demon attack. The Legends trust me, a foolish move on their part, but as we’re the only two with any hint of magic in on this ship. It won’t be hard to convince them that you need to stay with me. We play nice. You and I working together can get whatever it is that’s hunting you, and once that’s taken care of…”

“I can run again, with only the Time Bureau hunting me,” Nora says, all of the pieces clicking into place easily.

“Exactly,” John agrees. Tipping his glass her way in a mock toast.

As much as she hates to admit it. To agree with John. That could work. If they could take care of the demon before the baby was born. She could safely leave before Director Sharpe tried to arrest her again.

She and the baby can be safe.

Can be normal.

Somewhere in time where nobody is hunting them.

“Fuck it,” Nora mutters.

What did she have to lose really?

And if John was right…

“Fuck it,” Nora says again.

She turns leaving the kitchen without another word, without a second glance, but she doesn’t miss John calling, “See you in the morning, love,” after her retreating back.

She’s staying.

For now.

For just a little longer.

Just enough to get rid of this demon.

To keep her child safe.

This is for her, for  _ them _ , it has nothing to do with the man whose room once again Nora hesitates outside of. Lingering for just a second before going back to her own.

Her leather jacket hits the floor this time. Along with her backpack. Her shoes barely kicked off before she’s back in bed.

Forcing her eyes shut.

Forcing herself to sleep.

Even if it is a restless sleep.

Uneasy.

Dreams a mess.

Flickers of imagines.

Of something almost like Berlin.

Of what could have been something.

Of what almost was.

She wakes up what feels far too soon with tears on her cheeks and a feeling nearly like longing in her chest. A feeling that she pushes down. As for the third time in such few hours she gets dressed again. 

She retraced her steps from the night before.

Now in the wakefulness of the morning, she can hear the signs of the ship, of the occupants going about their lives as if this were just another ordinary day for them.

The kitchen is once again not empty.

At least there’s no John this time.

But there’s Ray - and two others, Nate and Zari - all conversation falling off into silence at the sight of her. 

Nora’s arms cross defensively over her chest. Her whole body tensing for a fight. Irregardless of what Ray feels for her, his teammates do not like her, their hostile energies clear.

She can feel their eyes on her. Wary and curious.

She cannot blame them.

She’d tried to kill both of them multiple times before.

“Good morning,” Ray says, the first to break the silence. His voice far too cheery for so early in the morning. Smile too bright and beaming. Happy, with an undercurrent of concern.

She hates how she can feel that.

His concern.

She would need to find a way to temper this bond.

It’s worse now the closer that they are to each other.

“Morning,” Nora replies, voice tight and free of inflection. 

Ray’s spirits don’t outwardly damper at her tone, but inwardly. There’s so many more emotions that he’s hiding beneath the surface. It’s distracting. 

“Did you sleep well?”

Nora casts a sarcastic look at Ray, “Did you?”

Despite her already knowing the answer. She still feels a hint of disappointment, in herself, when Ray’s happy expression falters just for a second.

Maybe that happiness is more fragile than he lets t appear to be. 

“Do you want me to show you how the fabricator works,” Ray offers. “It’s a little different from the one we used to make your clothes, but it’s pretty self explanatory-“

“I know how it works,” Nora cuts him off.

Unwilling to expand on how last night she had figured it out.

“Oh okay,” Ray says. “Well, what about milk or tea or coffee or-“

“Don’t let him put butter in it,” Nate jumps in, with a teasing tone. 

The first time either him or Zari have said anything since she entered.

She focuses on them, because it’s easier than focusing on Ray and the hint of awkwardness that carries around each of their interactions.

“Butter?”

She vaguely remembers something about that. Words spoken what feels like a lifetime ago. 

“It’s disgusting,” Zari replies with a small nod, “But apparently good for you.”

“Whatever you do don’t get him started on healthy foods,” Nate tells her.

Nora attempts to offer a smile of thanks to them. But it’s awkward. Clearly forced. This whole thing is awkward for everyone involved. 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Nora nods at them.

She pushes past Ray to make her way to the fabricator. Pressing the right buttons to make herself a bowl of plain oatmeal. After so long without eating much in the way of steady meals, she knows her stomach can’t handle much. At least now she had moved past the morning sickness stage. That was the worse. Being on the run and unable to hold anything down had been hard. 

“I’ve actually had Gideon look up what foods are best for pregnant women,” Ray says. “If you wanted advice or… For the future.” 

A part of her wants to insist, as she’s done plenty of times before, that she’s fine and doesn’t need his help.

But if she’s going to be staying her for a bit, creating a hostile environment with the father of her child might not be the best idea. 

So instead she tries another awkward smile. “Maybe later, this is about all I can keep down right now.”

Ray looks concerned at that.

Clearly her attempt at a smile had worked nearly as well. Nora looks away from him and stares down at her bowl of oatmeal instead. 

“Right,” Ray nods. “I can get you water?”

“That would be lovely.”

He smiles at her. His not awkward at all. A happy beaming smile. So earnest. So happy to help.

The glass of water he brings her is cold. Soothing when she drinks it. Sitting down a bit away from the others.

Despite the fact that his breakfast is clearly there at the table with Nate and Zari, Ray sits down next to her. Hovering. Watching her. Protectively.

She wonders if the bond has something to do with it.

He may not be aware of it in the way that she is.

But even someone without any magic must be able to know that something about this wasn’t entirely normal. Then again, this was  _ Ray _ , for all his goodness, he seemed to clearly see things as a man of science or not at all.

Magic is not something she imagines that he had any frame of reference for. 

The kitchen remains an awkward place. 

Nate and Zari starting up some meaningless conversation after a moment, clearly trying pointedly not to look their way. Meanwhile neither Nora nor Ray were willing to break the silence between them and have the discussions that they had both been avoiding saying out loud. 

It stays like that for a while.

Until Sara appears at the doors to the doors to the kitchen. Doing a quick sweep of the room. Her gaze narrowing just a little at the sight of Nora.

They’ll never be allied truly. Never have peace. Not with their family histories. She could only hope that Sara wouldn’t push her unborn child, the Darhk heir, for who his grandfather was.

Ray’s hand settles against her. Steady and reassuring, as the sight of Sara there. Calming her just a little, subconsciously. When seeing the other woman had unsettled her so.

“Team meeting on the bridge in five,” Sara announces. “That includes  _ everyone _ .”

Then with one last glance at Nora she’s gone.

Ray’s touch is still warm against her arm. His thumb rubbing small circles there against her wrist. A part of Nora wants to jerk away from his touch. While another part of her wants to give in to the comfort that he’s attempting to offer her.  

“We should-“

“Yeah,” she cuts him off with agreement.

With a small hint of reluctance Ray does then finally remove his hand from her arm. Moving to take her dishes and move them to sink. It would almost be domestic were it not for where they were and who all was watching.

Zari and Nate join them for the walk down to the bridge. Nobody really comfortable enough to say anything. All knowing what is coming.

Her sentencing. 

All over again.

She still remembers how it had felt, those moments before she escaped. A Time Bureau agent reading off a list of crimes, the flash of a camera taking her mug shoot, the threat of a cell until the end of time...

When they arrive on the Bridge, Nora can’t help but notice how John is off in a corner talking to Director Sharpe. The woman looks annoyed with whatever he’s saying, a feeling Nora can understand, but they both stop talking when she shows up. John crossing the room to stand by Nora instead.

It is also impossible not to notice the way  _ that  _ seems to make Ray uncomfortable. 

They wait until the whole group (all the Legends and the Time Bureau agents) gathers there before Director Sharpe speaks. “After much consideration and deliberation. It has come to my attention that the Time Bureau may not be entirely equated to handle a demon, and that keeping Miss Darhk on probation with the Legends may be a better alternative than locking her away at this present time.”

John scoffs beside her, “That’s an understatement.”

And even Nora can’t help but crack a small smile at that. 

“However, Miss Darhk is still a criminal-“

“Hey-“

“I’m not finished,” Director Sharpe stops Ray’s righteous interruption before he can come to her defense. 

It’s sweet.

Just a little.

Whatever belief he has in her.

Misguided as Nora may know it to be. Nora reaches out into the space between them to take Ray’s hand and thread their fingers together. She can feel the way he seems to shake - with something like rage, though she doubts he would admit that - just there under the surface before settling against her hand. 

He squeezed her hand just a little. An acknowledgement. One she echoes a moment later.

In the meantime Sharpe continues, “While points have been made that perhaps Miss Darhk should not be held responsible for  _ every  _ crime committed while she was possessed. There are still some, not all, that she is certainly guilty of.” 

When Sharpe turns to meet Nora’s eyes at this statement. Nora cannot help but glare back at her. No, not innocent. She had never been innocent. Not even as a child. But that didn’t mean that she wanted to be locked up, that she wouldn’t fight it.

“The Time Bureau has been known to hold tribunals for time criminals that may have been more accomplices rather than instigators,” she continues. “After, Constantine has resolved this demon situation, the Time Bureau will hold a tribunal for Miss Darhk to see about lightening her sentence.”

Lightening.

Not going free.

“The most comfortable of cells then,” Nora replies, a mocking twist to her voice.

“Do not push me,” Sharpe warns her. “I can take away any hint if leniency just as easily.” 

“Do not push  _ me _ ,” Nora corrects. 

“Nora,” John says quietly, a warning to play nice.

Right as Ray on her other side, just as quietly insists, “We can fight this.”

She ignores both of their warnings, unable to resist rising to the bait. There was something about Sharpe that just irritated her. “There’s not a cell you can keep me in, Sharpe.” 

“No, probably not,” Ava agrees. “But what about Dr. Palmer?”

That catches Nora by surprise.

“Excuse me,” Nora asks darkly.

“He’s an accomplice to your escape. And technically, as the Legends are an extension of the Time Bureau, that means that Dr. Palmer has committed treason against a federal agency. Do you know what the punishment for  _ treason  _ is Miss Darhk?”

She knows she’s probably squeezing down to hard on Ray’s hand. But she can feel him again. 

Protective.

Concerned. 

_ Afraid _ . 

She feels it too. Fear spreading through her like ice consuming every part of her, overtaking every other emotion. She’s not shaking with rage anymore, but something else.

Nora tries to tell herself that she doesn’t care. That it doesn’t matter if Ray is locked away. He’s not a concern of hers. But she knows that that isn’t true.

That it’s more than just the child they’ve made that has her holding onto his hand here. That has her knowing in an instant that she would kill to keep him safe.

“Ava,” it’s Sara that speaks up. Diffusing the tension just a little. If Nora weren’t so caught up in the loop of feedback between her and Ray’s emotions, she might have noticed how quickly Sharpe went from serious Time Bureau Director to someone much softer and almost human at the sound of the other woman calling her name. “We talked about this.”

“I’m just making sure that Miss Darhk is aware of what she has to lose if she refuses to cooperate with the Time Bureau,” she replies. 

“I’m aware,” Nora says. About all she can manage.

She’ll find away. Play nice.  _ For now _ .

If the plan has to adapt to taking Ray with her once she leaves and is on the run again then well… Maybe that wouldn’t be entirely awful. 

She holds onto Ray’s hand just a little tighter.

Him squeezing back in reassurance.

No, not awful at all.

  
  
  



	4. Chapter Three - Ray

 

He’s pretty sure that Nora is avoiding him.

No, that’s not right.

He knows  _ for a fact  _ that Nora is avoiding him.

It doesn’t help that the last time they had talked hadn’t exactly gone well. Ava’s threats against him, threats that Sara had assured him were empty ones meant to convince Nora to play nice, hadn’t been fun for either of them. Still they had worked, she had agreed to stay with the Legends until the demon situation was sorted.

But after…

After Ava had left the ship, Nora had dropped his hand like it was on fire. And pointedly avoid talking to him for the rest of the day.

And the next day.

And the one after that.

It isn’t hard to see the signs. The way whenever they were in the same room Nora would quickly find an excuse to leave, to divert her path. According to Gideon, who hadn’t bothered to hide her own worried tone when Ray asked about Nora for the third time that day, Nora spent most her time in her room, that when she’s not working with John on whatever magic planning that Ray wasn’t invited to sit in on. 

It’s obvious that this whole situation is awkward and uncomfortable.

Ray gets that.

He understands.

Because he feels it too, that uncertainty. Never knowing what to say when Nora is around. A way to address the  _ elephant in the room _ , the baby,  _ their  _ baby. 

They’re having a baby. 

Ray would be lying if he said that he hadn’t been wanting this for years. The idea of settling down and starting a family with someone that he loved was one that had been occupying Ray’s mind for years.

He’s tried certainly.

Anna.

Felicity.

Kendra.

But each time something had gone wrong. Each time his chance - at domestic bliss, the white picket fence, the kids, the happily ever after - had slipped through his fingers.

And now here is Nora.

They’re doing it all wrong. Not in the right order. Not the way he had always imagined his life going. But at the same time… He doesn’t want to mess this up.

He can’t.

Not now.

Not when it’s all right there in front of him.

He has feelings for Nora. 

Ray’s well aware of that. Aware that he has had feelings for her for a while. Feelings that only have grown over the last few days, awkwardness and avoidance aside, there’s something about Nora that always pulls Ray back in. 

This is more than just a duty to the baby that they’ve made.

Even if there wasn’t a baby involved, he knows that he would still feel this way. The relief that he felt after  _ months _ of worrying about Nora, wondering where she was, hoping she was okay, and looking for her on the sly.

And now she is here.

On the same ship as him.

And they aren’t talking. 

It doesn’t help that every time Ray is in the same room as her he seems to forget how to talk. To forget every word that he’s rehearsed. As if Nora’s mere presence makes it hard for him to even think.

“You’re staring,” Zari’s voice startles Ray pulling him out of his thoughts. 

She’s not wrong.

He is staring.

Unable to help it. 

He’s pretending to be looking over something in the library, but all he can focus on is Nora just through the glass windows. Talking with John again.

He’s not jealous. Not really. But he can’t help the feeling that could nearly be jealousy that nags at the back of his mind every time he sees the two of them together.

The worst part is, if it wasn’t for the baby, if it wasn’t for everything that he felt for Nora…. Her and John would be a good match, they’ve both got magic, an understanding of each other that Ray can’t even compare to, and dark pasts that still seem to weight on them. They’re similar in ways that he and Nora could never be.

He gets it.

He does.

But that doesn’t mean that he has to be happy about all the time they’ve been spending together, especially when Nora seems to be doing everything in her power to avoid Ray. 

“I’m not staring,” Ray insists. Knowing already that he has no poker face and that there’s no way Zari can’t seem through him. “I’m just  _ watching  _ them.”

“Pretty sure those two m are synonymous.”

Ray casts a sheepish grin at Zari. “If I go over there she’ll find a reason to leave. At least this way I can still watch over her. Make sure that they’re safe.”

Zari seems to get that a little. Nodding slightly. “You’re worried.”

“How can I not be?”

“About her or the baby?”

And isn’t that the question of the hour. 

The question that he knows everyone else has been thinking about. The only reason most of the other Legends are even tolerating Nora is because of the baby -  _ his  _ baby. 

Ray finds himself unable to answer Zari.

Then again, maybe his silence is enough of an answer. 

“Look Ray,” Zari says. “I still think Nora is bad news, that there isn’t a happy ending in all of this. She’s a criminal, she tried to kill us all multiple times, and more importantly, as your friend I’m worried that she’s going to break your heart. I’d warn you not to get attached but…”

“But it’s a little late for that,” Ray finishes, pointing out. “We’re having a baby.”

“That doesn’t have to be the end of the story,” Zari says. “Just don’t force yourself to be with her just because of the baby.”

“It’s not like that,” Ray insists. Because it’s not. Even without the baby, he had felt things for Nora before. “I think I’ve been falling for her since the beginning. Something inside of me just knew the second that we met, even when we were on opposite sides, that keeps drawing me back to her. Fate, almost.”

“And you believe in that,” Zari asks. “Fate?”

“What else is there to believe in?”

He looks through the glass again. To where Nora and John are on the bridge still talking, planning something, though they both seem to stop at once.

Nora’s head darts up, immediately turning to him as if she had sensed his gaze. Their eyes lock across the room, and all of time stops in that moment. The whole universe slowing down so that they are the only two people that have ever existed. 

He swears he feels it again, the same feeling he had felt when they first found her, the way he seems to instinctively see into her. Beyond all the walls, beyond her defenses, to see the woman underneath the cool exterior. 

He can feel her. Just for a second. Just the hint of anxious energy. Curious at his gaze. Before a feeling of defensiveness overwhelms it all, and then Nora tearing her gaze away and all Ray is left with is a cold feeling of nothingness.

The moment, the  _ connection _ , lost.

“Ray?” He distantly registers Zari’s voice, but it’s hard to think as he stands up, the book he had been pretending to read forgotten as he moves to follow Nora, who has abandoned her work with John just as quickly.

It does not take much effort to catch up with her.

His strides significantly longer than hers, and Nora’s not even really making an effort to walk fast.

When he calls out her name, “Nora,” she stops still in the middle of the hallway.

Though she does not turn around.

There’s a thousand things that he wants to say. Questions he’s rehearsed, planned, ways to lead into the conversations that they keep not having.

Instead all he can manage is, “What was that?”

Nora’s answer is too quick, too defensive, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I thought I was supposed to be the one of us who couldn’t lie?”

Nora finally then does turn. Her defenses lowered just for a moment. Her expression raw and open, just as shocked as he is.

“You can feel it too,” she asks. A small concession. An offering.

Ray nods.

“For how long?”

“I’m not sure,” he admits. Nora seems displeased by that answer. So he quickly continues. “This is only the second time it’s been that strong. But I felt it before when we found you. I heard your voice in my head calling out for me.”

Nora seems to consider that for a moment. Not looking very happy with his words. Just staring at him there in silence.

Long enough that Ray can’t help but shift uncomfortably under her gaze.

Until he feels something else.

No, it’s more than a feeling.

It’s a sound, his name, clear as day, in the back of his head, in her voice -  _ Ray _ .

He gasps at the sound of it.

“You heard-“

“Yes, how?”

“I don’t know,” Nora admits. And this time he thinks that she’s being honest. “Magic works in mysterious ways. Ways even I don’t always understand.” 

“We’re connected?”

Nora nods slightly. Her hand resting on her stomach. Ray can’t help but follow her movement with his eyes, landing on her baby bump, their baby right there. 

The baby… Was connecting them?

It didn’t make sense.

Then again, magic never seemed to.

Mysterious ways alright.

It’s wonderful in a way, something that magic can’t explain, a connection between the two of them. More than just the spark he felt when their hands touched as he gave her the time stone. More than just the way his heart beat louder in his chest every time she was around. More than just one night in Berlin.

It doesn’t make sense.

Not from any logical or scientific standpoint but…

The relief and curiosity that he feels fades away quickly as another realization hits him as - “Is that why-“

“Yes,” Nora says, already knowing the answer. “He’s going to be a powerful one, our child, I can already feel his magic.”

_ His _ .

_ Magic. _

_ Already. _

It is a lot to process.

“Can we talk,” Ray asks, unable to hide the hint of desperation from his voice. “We need to, about all of this, please?”

Nora hesitates for a moment.

He thinks for a second that she will decline.

That she’ll go back to doing the same thing she’s been doing for the last few days. 

But finally Nora nods, once, and then once more.

“I wish I could offer you a drink,” Ray says. “I feel like that might make this easier.” 

“I don’t think anything is going to make  _ this  _ easier,” Nora counters.

“We could do coffee? Or maybe not, I was reading this article that said caffeine could be bad for the baby, so you probably shouldn’t have coffee.”

Nora makes a face, displeased but teasing at the same time as she replies, “Especially not  _ your  _ coffee.”

“My coffee is good,” Ray insists. “It’s more healthy, and under normal circumstances-“

“You know that’s really all the placebo effect,” Nora counters.

“No! No! Wrong! Who has been telling you these things,” Ray asks. 

“Your team is  _ very opinionated, _ ” Nora informs him.

Which he already knows. The Legends all seem to have opinions on just about everything and eating healthy was never one of them.

He plans to tell Nora that but when he looks up there’s a hint of amusement in her eyes. And any offense that Ray might have felt disappears instantly. 

“Herbal tea,” he offers. 

Nora hesitates again, and he thinks for a second that they’ll go back to the way thing have been over the past few days. Nora avoiding him, pretending that they don’t need to have this discussion. 

If she left, he would let her.

He doesn’t want to push her.

But eventually she nods. 

The kitchens are thankfully empty when they arrive there, the door sliding shut behind them. He’s never actually seen the kitchen doors shut before, always used to them being open. But he mutters a quick and quiet “Thank you” to Gideon knowing that it was her that made certain the two of them would get a bit of privacy for this discussion.

A rare thing on this ship.

Nora sits down, and Ray forces himself not to watch her as he focuses on making them tea. Something soothing and herbal, the sort of thing that he had read was good for pregnant women. 

They remain silent as he makes the tea, neither saying anything even after he’s finished at set a mug down in front of each of them. He takes the seat next to her. They both sit there drinking their tea in silence. 

It’s hard doing this. The truth is he can’t blame her for avoiding him because he doesn’t know much where to begin either. There was no easy way to do this, to say all the things that he’s been wanting to say over the last week. That he should have had  _ months  _ to figure out how to say, not days, and yet…

This is what they have.

This is the hand that they’ve been dealt.

And ignoring that isn’t fair to either of themz

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Ray says, staring down into his cup of tea.

“Yes,” Nora acknowledges, admitting as much. “I have been.”

He can’t help but ask, “Why?”

He forces himself to look up at her. Past the lingering awkwardness to focus on Nora. She’s beautiful. It feels like such a silly thing to realize in this moment. Nora in an oversized grey knit sweater, the smallest hint of color on her cheeks, her hands holding too tight to the mug of tea between them still not having taken a sip. 

She’s beautiful.

As beautiful as she’s always been. 

Since the first moment he saw her. 

But now she seems to be almost… Glowing. 

It feels a little cliche, that watching her now, his feelings for her could only seem to grow. Only to be more swept away by this woman. And yet the feeling is undeniable. 

“I don’t know how to do this,” Nora admits, eventually, “I don’t know how to do any of this.”

“Neither do I,” Ray replies. 

Nora nods in acknowledgement. “I have been avoiding you, I’ve been avoiding having this conversation, avoiding dragging you any more into this…”

“I think we’re a bit beyond that,” Ray points out, his eyes falling to her stomach. 

“That’s different,” Nora insists. “What I’m working on now…And with what Sharpe said about  _ treason _ .”

“She wouldn’t really lock me up,” Ray insists. “Sara told me that was mostly too-”

“I felt you,” Nora cuts him off. 

“What?”

“When she threatened you, I felt your fear, I could feel it as clear as if it were my own emotions,” Nora explains. “It was the one of worst thing I’ve ever experienced.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t - Don’t apologize fuck - That’s why I’ve been avoiding you, because of this baby, and because of the bond. I can feel things. Things I don’t think you want me to feel, because we’re connected and you have no sense of magic and no way to block against it and I just,” Nora pauses, letting out an angry sigh. “It’s distracting. I’ve been avoiding you because you’re distracting.”

Right.

He had felt that just then. 

And he had heard her before. 

They were connected. 

And while Ray may not exactly understand how it all works. He knew a bit about magic, and had friends that were metahumans, and he had long since given up the hope of scientifically understanding everything that is happening.

“You can read my thoughts?”

Nora shakes her head. “More like your emotions, and usually only when we’re touching or when I make an effort to check.” 

“When we found you, I had heard you calling my name, it was there in the back of my mind,” Ray explains. “That’s how we knew where to find you.” 

“I heard you too.” 

That made sense. In a way. 

Nora pulls her hand away from her mug to offer it palm up to Ray, and Ray takes the offering settling his on top of hers a moment later. For a moment he doesn’t feel anything. Just the usual mix of his own worries and concerns, but then he feels something else, a hesitance, a hint of defenses, like he’s pushing up against a wall. He tries to push a little, tempting the mental block, only to be given the barest echoes of a feeling of regret in return. 

Her regret.  

Nora scoffs a little. “You really do wear your heart on your sleeve, don’t you?” 

Whatever Nora must be feeling from him must be a lot clearer than her emotions. Though the thought of that isn’t enough to convince Ray to pull his hand away. To break the momentary bond between them. 

“And this is because of the baby?”

“As I said, he’s very powerful.”

“ _ He _ ?”

Nora pauses at that. He can see now the hint of color that clings to her cheeks. And for a second he feels a flutter of something. An emotion that may or may not be his own - happiness, almost. 

He knows instantly, innately, how much Nora cares about this baby. How despite her words days before, that she does not feel as if the baby is a burden, but rather the one good thing that has come out of her life.

The one good thing that she made.

That  _ they  _ made. 

“Well,” Nora pauses. Her admittance is soft. Barely able for Ray to even hear. “I don’t actually know for sure. Just that whenever I try to imagine the baby, whenever he shows up in my dreams, he’s a little boy. A little boy that looks like you.” 

His heart aches at her words, and he can’t help the feeling of tears in his eyes. This is still all so new. She’s had months to think about the baby, to know that it was coming, to know who the father was. For Ray… This is all brand new.

He had only known since the moment she showed up pregnant with a child that could only logically be his. 

He should have had months to prepare for this. To dwell on the thought of what it would be like to have a little boy, or a little girl, that looks like the perfect mix of the two of them. To think about what sort of person they would grow up to be. To plan for the family that he has always wanted to have.

He should be happy that he has the chance now.

But all Ray can feel is sadness.

“Were you ever planning on telling me,” Ray asks, unable to hide the hurt in his voice. “If we hadn’t found you?”

“Eventually,” she admits. “In a few years, when the Time Bureau, and everything else, gave up looking for me.” 

“In a few…” He can’t look at her. His eyes definitely watering now,  He wants to pull his hand back. To break the connection between them. To not force her to feel the way that he does. Terrible and full of regret, hurting in ways that he didn’t know that he could hurt. 

He does.

Because he can’t take it. 

It is impossible to miss the sensation of her feelings the second he tugs his hand away. The noise of something like concern or shock that falls from Nora’s lips at the loss of content. 

His hands only shake a little as he grabs his mug from the table standing up.

“Ray-”

“I just need more tea,” he insists. 

Even though it’s a lie. Rushed and coming out too quickly. He’s never been good at lying. And she knows that. How can she not? Especially now that she can apparently feel him.

He busies himself filling up the mug again anyways. 

Focuses on the hot water, the steam, bobbing the tea back up and down, focusing on - “Ray?”

She’s so close to him. Standing there next to him, having gotten up just after he did. 

Hovering in his space. It’s a strange feeling, because he hurts so much. Over the thought that had things not gotten as bad as they did that he might have never known about the baby, that she might not have told him, that he might have missed more. 

But there’s another part of him that is grateful, grateful that he has this moment, that he has the ability to stand there hurt and a little angry, because it’s better than never knowing at all. 

“Give me your hand,” Nora says, continuing at his silence. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

Nora ignores him, and he finds he doesn’t entirely mind that, because when she reaches out and takes his hand she moves it to her stomach. To feel their baby. To feel everything that she is feeling. 

And suddenly he can feel it all.

That she wasn’t running, wasn’t keeping this from him because she didn’t want him to be there, but because she was so used to doing things alone, and because she was afraid that any other way would have meant losing the baby. The fear that had been there before, the idea of her being taken away, of the baby being taken away. 

That feeling that she had wanted him there, that she had considered finding a way to contact him before, but always hesitated at the last moment unsure of how he would react. Unsure that he would even want to have anything to do with her, with  _ them _ . 

He doesn’t even notice that he’s crying until she points it out a moment later, reaching up to swipe at his cheek, to brush the tears away.

“I just want to keep our baby safe,” Nora says, “No matter the cost. And… I need you to promise me that you want that too.”

“Of course,” Ray says without hesitating. “I will protect our child, I promise.” 

He doesn’t miss the way Nora smiles at that, the feeling of relief that washes over him, over  _ all  _ of them.

“No matter the cost?”

Ava’s threat of  _ treason  _ echoes back in his head, but with Nora here in front of him, feeling where there baby is growing just under his hand… It was never a question. “No matter the cost.” 

“Good,” Nora says, nodding once, and then again, “Good.”

She’s so close. 

Close enough that he could lean down and kiss her, and there’s a part of him that wants to, that can feel the intimacy of this moment, the intimacy of the promise he’s just made to them. He wants to kiss her. Wants to be able to hold onto her. Wants the feelings that he knows are there inside his heart to be real and shared by her.

But for now…

For now they needed to take things slow.

And Ray could do slow… Probably. 

Which meant talking about all the things they’ve been avoiding talking about for so long. 

There’s hundred of questions swirling instead of his head. So many that he’s not sure when to start, but he has to start somewhere. Something easy. 

“Did Gideon tell you when you’re due?”

Nora nods. “The beginning of December, assuming we follow time properly and don’t end up stranded in the wrong time for too long?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time I got stranded somewhere,” Ray admits.

He doesn’t think he would mind it, being stranded somewhere in time with Nora like he had been with Kendra. The time drift had been bad, but it had been a chance to be normal. What he wouldn’t give for a chance to be normal. For the two of them - no, the  _ three  _ of them - to have a happy and normal life. 

Maybe when this was all over.

Maybe there would be a chance, someday, somehow, for things to be normal. 

“We should make plans, set you up with a doctor, a real one,” Ray says. “I mean, Gideon can pretty much do everything other than deliver a baby, but well…”

“John actually offered,” Nora tells him. “Said he’s delivered a demon or two before, can’t be too different.” 

Ray makes a face at that. 

That was exactly what he  _ didn’t  _ want to think about. As far as Ray was concerned John and Nora were already spending too much time together. And it wasn’t that he was  _ jealous _ , certainly not, but the idea of John being the one to deliver his child. Certainly there had to be better options. 

“I’ll look into doctor’s something in DC, or Star City, somewhere close to HQ so that the Bureau can’t complain-“

He can feel Nora’s displeasure the second he mentions the Time Bureau.

“Did you forget that I’m on house arrest? Can’t leave the Waverider unless I want that nice padded cell.”

No, how could he forget.

He is still fighting Ava on this, will continue to fight her until it’s resolved. And now… If it isn’t. He had made a promise to Nora and to their child, one that he intended to keep. 

Many years ago he had resolved to always be there to help those who needed it, the innocent, and he knows that Nora is among that group. Even if no one else, Nora included, is willing to believe that.

“Honestly, I hadn’t thought that far,” Nora admits. “I know I probably should’ve gone to a doctor’s before. I went to a clinic once, early on, but they had thought that I wanted to get rid of the baby and I…”

Nora stops.

This time he can feel it. 

Sadness, coming from her. 

Regret.

“Maybe I should have this all would’ve been easier.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you didn’t,” Ray offers.

Nora’s smile is weak, her eyes still sad. “You’re going to be a great father.” 

It’s just a few simple words.

But it means so much. 

An assessment. A truth she sees in him. A truth that he’d been trying to find in himself. He didn’t have the best role models. Doesn’t have anyone to turn to for advice. But if nothing else he’s going to do right by this baby, and by her.

“So are you,” he insists.

Even though he can tell that Nora doesn’t believe him.

He’ll find a way to get through to her. To make sure that she sees the good inside of her. The good that he sees so clearly.

For now though, he lets her misdirect. Let’s her change the topic.

“I was thinking,” Nora says slowly, as if testing the waters. “That if the baby is a boy, that we might name him after my father.”

_ Damien _ .

Damien Palmer.

Damien  _ Darhk _ -Palmer.

That was certainly…. A choice. As far as the list of names that Ray would have even begun to consider for their child goes, that would have to have been at the bottom of this list.

But if that is what Nora wanted- 

Nora laughs suddenly. Startling him. Impulsively he moves to pull his hand back, only to stop as her fingers circle his wrist holding him in place.

“You don’t like that idea,” Nora says, voice still carrying that hint of laughter. “You just felt so offended. I don’t know why that’s so funny.”

“You know it’s actually against my religion to name a baby after someone who is alive,” Ray says, “And I’ve met your father in enough different time periods that we could never really be  _ too  _ sure.” 

Nora laughs again.

And this time Ray can’t help but find himself smiling in return. 

“Maybe we should table the naming discussions for later?”

It’s refreshing to see her sadness gone. To feel nothing but amusement from the bond brought on by her hand holding his in place as it presses lightly against her stomach.

It’s a first.

It’s a start.

Ray clings to that, to that good feeling. To this moment of happiness where for once everything seems like it could almost make sense.

Like it could almost be normal.

“You know, I’m sure the library has some sort of baby name book,” Ray offers, “The library always seems to have  _ exactly  _ the books I’m looking for, never failed me before.”

“Weren’t you just in there? Pretending to be productive.”

And yeah.

He was.

Watching her.

Something that they were both well aware of.

But something that he didn’t feel so bad about, not anymore, not for a moment. “It’s easier to pretend to be productive if there’s two of us.”

Nora laughs again. A little, just lightly - “Well how can I argue with that logic?”

  
  
  
  



	5. Chapter Four - Nora

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took a while because inspiration flagged because of a kind of bad con weekend. But I'm hoping to have the next one up in a few days and then at least another after that before the premiere next week! Stay tuned to see if I stick to my time line!

To say that she had cabin fever would be putting it lightly. It had been over a week now of being stuck on the Waverider with the  _ infamous  _ Legends, and Nora was sick of it. Not like she had a choice, not like she could leave. If she were to step off this ship, the little tracker under her skin would alert the Time Bureau to her exact location.

It was a little piece of tech, basic really, and Nora could very well use her magic to disable it if she wanted to. 

The only problem was… She’s only going to have one chance to do that.

One chance to defeat the demon hunting her, and to run afterwards, with her baby and maybe with someone else. 

So for now she has to play nice. 

Which is certainly easier said than done. 

“I want off this ship.”

“You know, we aren’t ready just yet, love.” 

Nora rolls her eyes at John.

Everyone else is off the ship, some sort of anachronism, doing whatever their actual job is. Fixing time, or some bullshit like that. With Nora stuck remaining behind, and John insisting that since  _ technically  _ this anachronism wasn’t magical, he wasn’t needed either.

Ray had hesitated just before leaving. 

Standing there in some almost comical historic get up. She had been able to feel his worry at  the time, his concern. It was be the first time  _ he  _ had left the ship since bringing her on board. 

But she had waved him off with the reassurance that she would be fine, that her and John had some training to do anyways, and that she didn’t need him hovering about. 

He does that a lot.

Hover.

When he doesn’t think that Nora will notice him.

She does, every time, how can she not? His thoughts and  _ feelings _ so loud inside her head, even when he is on the other side of the room. Nora had thought that Ray going off on a mission would be good for her, that she would be finally free of the echo of his feelings inside of her mind.

But now…

Nora would never admit it, but the only thing she felt at his absence was loneliness. 

Which was what had led them to the training room. In search of some sort of distraction. Some way to keep her mind off of things that Nora did not want to admit to herself that she was thinking about. Training to fight whatever it is that is hunting her. 

Mallus had trained her, but only in the ways he had needed her to be trained. Combative. Spells that were intended to hurt. To suck the life out of her enemies. 

Her father had trained her the same way Constantine had been, flashy and showy, combative spells. Grabbing and pulling at her enemies.

_ Dark Magic _ , John had called it plainly.

_ Darhk Magic,  _ she had corrected with a cruel twist. 

They were good spells, comfortable spells, a familiar place that Nora could crawl into when she needed a comfort almost like home. The swirl of magic without a shred of lightness in it was something she had long since grown familiar too. The shadows more comforting than anything else.

It was no wonder that demons found her such a familiar beacon. 

A shadow to match their own.

But now…

There’s something good and light inside of her.

Something that she needs to protect.

Hence protection spells. 

“I’ve seen better shields from primary school students,” John calls out. Mocking her, goading her into action. 

He had to be her least favorite teacher out of all of them. 

They’re in the training room, on the sparring mat, but instead of fighting. Instead of giving Nora a chance to work out her frustrations. She’s stuck here attempting again and again to make a shield made of  _ light,  _ while John tosses foam balls. 

With less success than she would like to admit.

“I’m not a child,” Nora insists, successfully deflecting one of the balls that he tosses his way. Though that was more due to pushing it away with her usual magic, rather than tossing up a shield. Something she knows from his mildly disappointed look that he couldn’t have missed. 

“Really, now,” John teases, “By my math you should be what? Fifteen? Fourteen?”

“Fuck off.” 

John grins too wide at that. 

Nora drops her poor attempt at a shield a moment later. “This is pointless. I need to be able to fight it not-”

“How was that working before?”

Nora clenches her hands into fists in frustration. He’s right. It hadn’t been working, which was why she had been running. Why she had ended up here. 

“But with the two of us together,” Nora insists. “I need you to stop treating me like I’m fragile,  _ you  _ of all people should know what I am capable of. Come on fight me, my magic against yourself.”

John pauses, seeming to consider that. She can see the temptation there on his face. John hadn’t been around to see her as the vessel of Mallus, but he had tried once to save a little girl from a demon holding her hostage. One of the few people around here that saw her as an equal, not an enemy.

She can see the second that he gives in.

Almost too easy. 

“You’re not supposed be exerting yourself too much, don’t want to get your baby daddy mad, now do we?” 

_ Baby daddy _ . 

Nora rolls her eyes.

Certainly, she had listened to Ray’s little tidbits of advice over the last few days. Now that she had stopped actively avoiding him, and they had shared a few brief moments of bonding over the baby, he was more willing than ever to offer his advice. Something he had read in a book, or researched, what to expect when you’re expecting. A list of foods she shouldn’t eat, exercises that she shouldn’t do, and every fun fact about the science behind babies that Nora didn’t need to know. 

“Don’t worry, when I wipe the floor with you, I’ll still be in perfect condition.” 

And that’s all it takes.

Their styles of magic are different.

Fundamentally so. 

John’s is Latin words falling from his tongue. A spellcaster. A warlock that is used to finding the quickest way to reach an end to a fight. Runes and words, twisting of tattoos on his skin, old magic. The kind that has been there since the beginning. Heavy and harsh, the weight of a thousand lifetimes lived, a thousand lives lost. He’s the type of Warlock that you read about in fairy tales.

Nora’s magic is a show. Demonstrative. A flick of the wrist. Meant to capture and ensnare. Taught to her the way that demons are taught, whispered words, tricks and illusions. A temptation, a push and pull, halting and disrupting the natural order of the universe. Unsettling and  _ Darhk  _ in a way that only she can be.

They’re well matched.

The black shadows of her magic, mixing with the rich reds of his. 

This is the training that she had been looking for. Familiar. Magic that felt like home. Magic that she was good at. 

She could stay like this for hours.

Here, finally her cabin fever forgotten, replaced with a deadly focus.

A focus that can break just as fast.

Nora gasps, caught suddenly off guard by the flood of emotions.

Of the sense that the other Legends have returned to the ship.

Of a rush of emotions that can only be  _ Ray  _ in proximity to her. 

It only takes one little mistake. One moment of not thinking ahead. Not calculating and planning for John’s next move. Not listening to the Latin words trailing from his tongue. She falters, slips, pushed backwards by a magic that is not more powerful than her own, but catches her off guard enough that she cannot stop it. 

She should have shielded.

Should have been able to.

But it’s too late, and Nora comes down harshly, bracing herself with her hands - not the right way to fall, not without getting injured, but her breaking her wrist is preferable than the alternative of landing on her back or stomach. 

She feels a momentary panic for the baby, even though she knows that she’s landed in a way that protects the child, that the soft matted floor of the practice room won’t cause her harm, that her fall wasn’t from that high. 

But the panic is there.

Rushing and overwhelming. 

Such that she doesn’t register John stopping, cursing under his breath as he crosses the practice room to where she is. That she doesn’t register the ache in her right wrist, fractured, if not broken from her fall. That she doesn’t register someone else rushing into the practice room until - 

“Nora?” 

There’s panic in his voice.

Panic that she feels so strongly she’s not even certain if it’s her own anymore. 

Nora squeezes her eyes shut. Focusing on building up a wall, shutting out Ray’s emotions. Shutting out her own. Using her magic instead to check on her baby. 

The baby is fine. Safe and sound. Somehow despite all of that. 

When she finally opens her eyes once more, all Nora can focus on is the pain in her wrist, definitely broken. It takes her a moment to process the sight in front of her. Ray, who is normally so soft and kind, angry now at John, his voice raising with each passing second. 

Maybe there’s something more than just light inside of him too. 

“I’m fine,” Nora insists, cutting off the guys from going off on each other. 

They both turn to look at her a moment later. Ray worried, with that undercurrent of anger still there. John more annoyed than anything else. 

“I told you-” John starts. 

Only for Ray to cut him off - “Are you sure? I felt you.” 

At this point Nora is almost certain that everyone on this ship knew about the connection between them. Ray hasn’t exactly been doing the best job to hide it. 

“I’m fine,” Nora insists again. “The baby’s fine too.”

Since she knows that’s what he really cares about. 

Ray reaches out to her. Probably so that he can feel a confirmation of her words, but Nora jerks back from his touch. She doesn’t need that right now. Doesn’t need his  _ concern _ . Doesn’t need any of them. 

“Nora?”

“Just because you’re my  _ baby daddy _ doesn’t mean that you have to constantly be worrying about me,” Nora snaps.

She can see it, even if she’s shielding against feeling it, the way those words hurt Ray. A part of her feels victorious at that, her words having hit their mark. Another part of her just feels awful. She’s not mad at Ray. Not really. She’s mad at herself, but he’s easy and right there and -

“Nora,” This time it’s John.

She glares at him.

It’s a lot easier to be mad at John.

“Fuck off, Constantine,” Nora tells her before he can even start.

And with a light push of her magic, just enough to catch them both off guard enough to stumble out of her way. Nora leaves the training room, and the two men inside of it behind. 

Thankfully, neither of them follow her.

A small blessing.

And Nora makes it to be the MedBay relatively undisturbed.

That is, until the moment that she makes it there and realizes that the room isn’t empty. Sara is sitting on one of the chairs, her head tilted back, eyes closed, while the glow of Gideon’s healing attends to an injured leg.

Apparently their anachronism hadn’t been as easy to take care of as they had all thought.

Nora half intends to walk out of the room and leave, not wanting to be caught alone in the same space with Sara. But is stopped only by Gideon’s voice from above, “Sit down, Miss Darhk, unless you’ve somehow taught yourself healing magic.” 

Nora curses under her breath, right as Sara opens her eyes.

Seemingly not surprised by Gideon’s announcement of someone else in the room. Or of the someone else being normal. 

“You might as well listen to her,” Sara says. “She only gets more insufferable if you don’t.”

“I hate this ship,” Nora mutters under her breath. Still, she does as she is told and takes the other chair. Setting her arm down on the armrest, and waiting as the dull blue glow of the ship’s healing methods start up.

Sara lets out a noise that isn’t quite a laugh. 

Clearly enjoying Nora’s misery.

Nora amends her statement a moment later, “And everyone on it.” 

“It’s okay, we’re all only being civil for Ray’s sake.”

“Oh I’m well aware,” Nora replies. How could she not be aware? “That your  _ girlfriend  _ plans on locking me up the second it’s safe to do so… The second I have this baby.”

She expects a sharp retort from Sara. But when Nora gets nothing but silence she glances at the other woman. At the slight look of worry and displeasure on her face. As if she wanted to argue with what Nora was saying. 

“You don’t need to be gentle with me,” Nora says. “I’m not an idiot. I know what you’re all planning.” 

“It’s not that simple, Nora.” 

“I don’t believe that.” 

Sara frowns again. She’s a lot harder to read than the rest of the people on this ship. Not that Nora makes much of a habit of trying to understand them but… Still.

“You’re good to go, Captain Lance,” Gideon says, interrupting their silent stare off.

Probably for the best.

Sara nods, not saying another word, not looking at Nora as she gets up off of her chair and leaves the room.

Nora doesn’t feel as if she can truly breathe easy again until she is alone in the MedBay. It’s not that she’s scared of  _ Sara Lance  _ of all people. But she is more than well aware of the bad blood that their families harbor for each other. Sara surely would be more than happy to punish Nora for her father’s crimes. She can just only hope that Sara won’t one day decide to punish this baby for his grandfather’s crimes. 

“Your wrist is healed, Miss Darhk,” Gideon says a moment later.

Normally Nora would take the opportunity to leave without looking back or thinking twice. But for the first time, she hesitates before leaving the medbay. 

Her voice is smaller, smaller than she normally would let it be, speaking here where only Gideon can hear her worries. “And what about the baby?”

Gideon is silent for a moment. 

A moment in which Nora forgets how to breathe.

Until she answers. “The baby is perfectly healthy.”

Finally, Nora lets how the breath that she had been holding.

“If you would like,” Gideon offers. “I could show you an ultrasound, see the gender of the baby or-”

“No,” Nora says, probably a bit too quickly. 

It’s not that she doesn’t want to know.

Doesn’t want to see.

But all of that makes this too real.

And it is  _ real  _ of course it is, her body has made Nora more than well aware of just how  _ real  _ this all is over the last few months. But there’s something about  _ seeing,  _ about  _ knowing _ . 

“Miss Darhk, you’re about to have a panic attack, should I call-”

“No,” Nora says again. 

Just as quick.

She takes a deep breath, one and then another, forcing herself to call down, before attempting to compose her thoughts. “I don’t want to know the baby’s gender or anything like that, but I would like to see my baby, if that’s possible.” 

The words are soft.

Barely spoken.

Whispered as though she is hesitant to admit them, but Gideon hears her all the same. 

A moment later, one of the display screens across from Nora flickers and changes, and instead of the usual read out, there’s a picture there instead. An ultrasound. She’s never had one before, but there’s no mistaking it. The vague hint there, the echo, the shape of something,  _ someone _ . 

When the tears come, she doesn’t bother to stop them. Couldn’t stop them even if she had wanted to. 

It’s so much more than just feeling her baby. Seeing. It’s suddenly all so real. Real in ways that Nora isn’t certain that she’s ready for, that she will ever be ready for…

But there is her baby.

The only good thing she’s ever done.

This innocent child growing inside of her. 

She only just notices through the sound of her own sobs, another sound, something almost like -

“A heartbeat?”

“I thought you might want to hear their heartbeat,” Gideon offers. “I could stop playing it if you’d like.”

Nora shakes her head. Unable to manage the words.

It’s all too much, and yet, at the same time, exactly what she had needed. 

Seeing her baby.

Hearing her baby.

It’s all too much. 

“I’m going to protect you,” she says, to the picture on the screen. “No matter what happens, I promise I’m going to protect you. I’m going to fight anyone and anything that tries to hurt you, so that you’ll never have to worry about what lurks in the shadows. You’re going to be… So loved. I promise you that.” 

No matter what happens, she knows in her heart that this baby will be loved. Love by a man that Nora wishes sometimes wishes could love her too. Loved by this  _ family  _ that that man has created, a family that Nora can never remain among.

Maybe she won’t stick around.

Maybe it will be better this way.

To give her baby up.

To someone good.

To  _ Ray _ . 

He’d know what to do, he’s already doing it all better than she is. Reading all the right books. Making plans. Worrying. Whereas Nora… She never had a good role model when it came to being a parent, doesn’t have any good in her to begin with. 

And this baby… This baby deserves goodness. 

Even if she can’t be there to see it.

“Could you,” Nora starts, unsure of how to even ask, “Is there a way to…”

Gideon understands without her needing to say it.

The AI may be incredibly invasive, but in moments like this Nora couldn’t complain too much.

A minute later there’s a sound like a printer, and Nora knows as she stands up. The image on the screen and the sound of the heartbeat falling away at once, what the picture will be of. 

“If you would like, I can share a copy with Doctor Palmer as well,” it’s a little pushy. Gideon not completely toneless, and Nora knows that the AI was as loyal to her team as the rest of the Legends were. Only really putting up with Nora for Ray’s sake. 

“Not yet,” Nora says. 

She wants to keep this, to herself, just a little bit longer.

Something that is just hers.

So she lies, just a little lie, one that just barely feels like a lie, “I want to be there, when he sees for the first time.”

Gideon seems to accept this. Accept that lie that could almost be a truth. 

Nora takes the photo, tucks it into the back pocket of her jeans, and makes her way back to her room. It’s too early really to call it a night, but with all the other Legends around the ship, and Nora feeling the way that she does the last thing that she wants is to run into more of them.

It’s easier in her room.

The room that is still so empty and bare that sometimes it feels like a cell.

She’s only been here a week, nothing much compared to the  _ infinite stretch of time  _ that awayed her if she was looked up in time prison. At least here she had what, another month or two, depending on the baby. 

Early December, Gideon had told her, assuming everything went normal.

Shortly after her own birthday.

They’d both be winter’s children, only one of them lucky enough to ever truly see a summer’s sun.

She finds herself falling into a restless sleep with that on her mind. The idea of it. Of a winter that stretches on and on forever. Of a girl, somewhere out there, that would have been fifteen this year, locked away with nothing but monsters and nightmares for company.

It’s not a surprise that her sleep is uneasy.

That her dreams are more nightmares than anything else, that’s all she ever seems to get nowadays. 

But it’s different this time.

_ They all start off the same, running, lost -  _

_ Her child there with her, a baby this time, warm in her arms -  _

_ Being chased by monsters and demons -  _

_ City streets, times and places that she does not know and then - _

_ She turns the corner sharp and sudden - _

_ No longer among the snowy streets, but instead - _

_ Hallways stretching endlessly - _

_ The flash of a camera taking her mugshot -  _

_ Blue suits and faces that she cannot make out and then - _

_ And then - _

_ He’s there - _

_ The word ‘Treason’ like an echo in her brain -  _

_ The warmth in her arms going cold suddenly the baby is taken way - _

_ She reaches out - _

_ Pushing and pulling - _

_ Not shielding like she knows she should be - _

_ And then she - _

Nora gasps jolting awake in her bed. A scream on her lips. Her heart beating too fast and too loud in chest. Hands outstretched, magic coursing through her veins, defensive against her invisible demons.

Logically she knows it was just a nightmare, that she’s had plenty of them and yet…

There’s no mistaking just  _ whose  _ name was on her lips when she woke up screaming. 

“Lights at ten percent,” Nora says, voice only just a little bit shaky.

The lights come on a minute later, and Nora isn’t even mildly surprised to see that in the panic of her nightmare, she had lashed out with her magic, knocking over the desk chair, sending her carefully stacked clothing to scatter across the floor. 

Thankfully, her room was mostly empty still. 

She doesn’t think before getting out of bed, her body moving on autopilot, a desperate need to confirm that everything is alright. That her panicked nightmare is nothing more than that. The lights in the hallway are dim, the floor illuminated in just the right path, knowing exactly where she intended to go.

The door to his room opens without her even having to knock. 

Ray there, standing at the door, as if he was just moments from leaving himself, eyes a little wide and shocked at the sight of her, before softening at once. His arms come around to hold her without her needing to say anything, without her needing to ask. 

Nora doesn’t fight him. Not this time. She doesn’t want to. She wants to feel this. To be curled up against him, held by a man that knows how to hold her, that  _ wants  _ to hold her. She’s crying, in front of him, something that feels like a weakness, and at the same time the exactly right thing to be doing.

As if she had been waiting for so long just to be held while she let it all out.

He understands, rubbing soft circles into her back.

When Nora speaks, her voice is small, still a little shaken. “I didn’t mean to wake you… I had a bad dream, and I…”

“I know,” Ray replies. His voice steady and calm. Something she can hold onto. “I felt it.”

Of course, he did.

How could he not.

The way Nora was lashing out. 

“Do you want to talk about it,” Ray asks, “Sometimes it helps to talk about these things?”

She doesn’t want to. 

Doesn’t think it will help really.

But the words come suddenly. Rambling and broken. A half explanation. Not enough. Not quite right. Here as he holds her, she can share the feeling, the sudden lack of warmth, the cold fear - “They were locking us away,  _ all  _ of us.” 

“I won’t let that happen.”

He’s said that before.

She still is certain that she won’t ever believe it. 

Though she thinks she might try when he presses his lips ever so softly against the top of her head. An echo of affection and sentiment carrying through their bond. Enough to chase the nightmares away, at least, just for a moment. 

“Can I stay the night?” she asks. Even though she knows that she shouldn’t. “I won’t be able to sleep tonight if I’m alone.”

“Of course,” Ray says, quickly. Without hesitating for even a second. 

Nora wonders what it must be like, to give in that easily, to be so  _ willing.  _

Ray’s room is set up similar to hers, in theory. More full of stuff, personality, lived in after years on the ship. But the beds are the same, seemingly coming standard. The same level of softness. Only it’s different now, laying here with Ray. 

She’s never done this before.

Never laid with a man like this.

So casually and yet intimately, all at the same time. His body pressed up against hers. Holding her as she lays down. Her back against his chest. His arms protective around her body. His hand on her  _ stomach _ . 

The baby probably having woken when Nora did in a panic earlier. Still awake now. Kicks just there. Nora’s had months of this. Long since used to it, barely even registers, but Ray… She’s certain this is the first time Ray has ever felt their baby kick.

It’s not as if Nora ever gave Ray much of an opportunity to do so.

“Is that-”

“Yes,” Nora says, knowing. 

Hearing the way Ray’s voice shakes. Just a little. Soft, in the way he always is. “That’s our baby.”

Nora hums in acknowledgement. 

She can feel this too.

His happiness.

Infectious almost. 

She had meant to save this, to keep it a little longer, but suddenly she can’t help herself.

“Gideon?”

“Yes, Miss Darhk,” The AI responds at once.

“Can you play that recording again, the one from earlier?”

A second later, she hears it. 

The steady sound of a heart beating. 

Ray’s hold on her tightens, a small gasp slipping from his lips. And this… This is a feeling Nora knows because she was feeling it just hours before. Because she can still feel it now. The happiness, the awe, of hearing their child. 

Growing and living, a steady beating heart.

So real that it hurts. 

He loves this child. Nora can feel it. Feel how much love there is inside of him. How it spreads out from him so that she can feel it too. Giving it up so early. 

He will love this child.

Until the end of time.

Nora knows this now.

And that’s all that matters.

She doesn’t need him to love her.

Just their child.

“I need you to promise me, that if anything happens to me, you’ll protect our child.” 

“I won’t let anything happen to you,” Ray says, his voice broken.

Crying, but tears of happiness.

“I need this, please Ray, I need this promise.”

He understands.

Somehow.

“I promise.”


	6. Chapter Five - Ray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update came a lot slower and a lot rougher than I originally planned. Mostly because I've spent the last week sick with Bronchitis. I think I'm on the way to recovering now, but it's a process so we shall see. In the meantime, I slowly worked this up. Enjoy a little something before the premiere tomorrow!

He’s pretty sure that Nora is slowly moving into his room. 

The first night it had been just been because of a bad dream, but the next had rolled around and she’d been at his door again in the middle of the night, and by the third time she’d stopped making a pretense of trying to sleep in her room and just started the night off in his.

By now…

It’s been a week and it feels silly that he’s still surprised by the fact that Nora is there, in his bed, lying beside him, when he wakes up in the morning. As if he had expected her to come to her senses during the night and leave. 

And yet she never does. 

As his hand brushes against her arm, he can feel waves of calm and peacefulness coming off of her in her sleep. 

She seems to sleep better when they’re together. Something that always brings a smile to Ray’s face. He likes it too, having her here, it feels right. It also helps that curled up together sleeping as they do, the connection between them is at its strongest, and Ray can feel everything that Nora is feeling. And endless loop created between the two of them, enough to chase the nightmares away. 

Ray’s never really been the type to have nightmares. Never even really the type to remember his dreams in the morning. 

But this time, if he closes his eyes, he can remember the dream, flashes and the memory of Berlin, of the woman lying next to him arched above him, her hands holding steady on his shoulders as she rises above him and -

Ray snaps his eyes back open. 

No, not best to dwell on  _ those  _ dreams, not unless he wants Nora to be  _ very aware  _ of exactly what he had been dreaming of.

It seems a bit silly in hindsight, especially considering that it’s not like anyone on the Waverider didn’t know that they’d had sex before. The evidence of that encounter plain to see. And yet he still felt awkward thinking about it. Thinking about Nora  _ that  _ way.

They had done it all wrong and out of order the first time around.

Ray is never usually the casual hookup kind.

But there had been an impulse in the moment and now…

It wasn’t that he regretted sleeping with Nora.

How could he?

In fact, he would very much like to do so again.

Just a regret that they didn’t get the chance to do this properly, the way  _ normal  _ people do. 

That thought alone is enough to damper any inclinations Ray might have had to revisit the images that his dream had reminded him of. 

Ray is careful as he gets out of bed, making certain not to disturb Nora as he quietly moves around the room, grabbing a change of clothes and making the short trip to the Waverider’s one bathroom. It’s thankfully empty when he gets there, still early enough for whatever counted as morning up in the temporal zone that Ray has the bathroom all too himself. 

He takes a quick and  cold shower, to wake himself up and to clear his head.

Before heading off to his lab, determined that if he is going to be stuck up this early that he would be somewhat productive. 

There isn’t any anachronisms actively on their plate at the moment. A little bit of a lull for the Legends as they wait for the Time Bureau’s careful system to pinpoint whatever is wrong with history next - magic or otherwise - but there’s still something to work. 

Modifications to the anti magic gun. 

He had used it once, well  _ twice  _ actually, both times on Nora. Nearly losing her each time, had it not been for a carefully administraved antidote. John had said that magic was something that could be learned, not a naturally born skill, but losing her magic had nearly stolen Nora’s light away each time he had been forced to use the anti magic gun on her, and their baby clearly was flourishing with some sort of magic of its own.

Magic, it seemed, was not something that could easily be understood by science.

Still, if there is even a chance that he could modify this gun to stop whatever is hunting Nora, and their child, then Ray would have to take it.

Which is why he had been spending the last few weeks, ever since Nora joined the ship, working on a way to help them. He might not have magic like Nora and John have, but there were still  _ some  _ things that science could do.

He sets himself to work. Lost in the process of it all. Of building and creating.  _ This  _ was what he was good at. Truly. What he had wanted to do since he was a child. He loves being a Legend, traveling time, and being a hero. But there’s always a small part of him that longs for this, that misses his lab at Palmer Tech, misses being at the forefront of creation. 

This, at least, is familiar in the way. 

Easy and natural.

Muscle memory.  

He sometimes get so lost in working on something here in the lab that hours can pass by without him even noticing. It’s not the  _ worst  _ way to spend the day. And a part of Ray thinks that he might do just that, until in the middle of working, his hands still - as a  _ jolting  _ feeling suddenly arises, his chest tight with emotions that are not entirely his own.

Yet another thing that science can’t explain.

The bitter taste of panic in the back of his throat.

“Gideon!”

“Miss Darhk has just woken up from a nightmare,” Gideon supplies with a thoroughly unimpressed tone. Gideon is one of the few that knew  _ exactly  _ how far their bond stretched and has since then become what seemed to be almost bored with their constant need to check in on each other. 

At least, from what he had heard from Gideon responding to him, and how Nora has said that Gideon in turned acted towards her.

“Should I-”

“She’s already on her way here,” Gideon cuts him off, dismissive and unimpressed. 

“Right.”

He feels bad. 

He should have been there with her, that he should have lingered in bed, even if his brain had been trying to have  _ those  _ kinds of thoughts. If he had still been there he could have protected Nora from the nightmares at the very least.

“Stop it,” Nora says when she shows up at the door to the lab. A short walk from his room in science quarters to here. “I can feel you feeling bad from a mile away.”

“Sorry,” Ray offers.  

But Nora just shakes her head.

She’s still in her pajamas. Somehow, dressed like this, she seems so much smaller than usual. His urge to protect her, to keep her safe in his arms, comes back in tenfold. He barely resists the urge to leave what he’s working on and join her when Nora settles on the one couch in the lab. 

“Don’t mind me,” she says with a small wave of her hand.

Ray tries not to.

He really does.

But looking back down at the anti magic gun on the lab table in front of him, he can’t even focus. 

Not when he knows her eyes are on him. 

“You’re still anxious,” she points out.

Ray shrugs. No use in denying it, not when Nora can feel whatever he is feeling. “Just about the usual stuff.” 

When he casts a glance back up at Nora there’s the smallest hint of a smile on her face. 

“I hope our baby ends up like you.”

_ Our baby _ .

Those two little words have a way of making all his worries melt away.

“Worried?”

“Smart,” Nora corrects. 

“You’re smart too,” he points out. 

“You know, I did drop out of eighth grade to join a demonic cult. Not exactly comparable to someone with what? Four PhDs?”

Ray grimaces. Right. It wasn’t that he had forgotten about that, but he had just never really considered it. Considered how much Nora had missed out on. All those years locked away. Any chance at a normal life stolen away when she was just a child. 

Their child deserves better than that.

A chance to be normal.

He’s going to do whatever it takes to make that happen, to give them all a chance to be happy and normal.

“I just,” Nora says, softly. So soft that despite the fact that they’re the only two people in the room. “I just want our baby to be nice and perfect like you.”

“I’m not perfect,” Ray insists.

He’s not.

He knows this.

Far from it.

He’s made mistakes in his life, plenty of them, ones that he’s worked hard ever since to fix, but perfect… No, he’s far from that. Sometimes when he looks at himself all he can see is the flaws, the shades of not good enough, the parts where he needs to work harder, to be even better. 

The broken anti magic gun on the lab table in front of him is proof to at least part of that. 

“Tell me one thing you’ve done wrong,” Nora says, a hint of disbelief in her voice.

_ I nearly killed you,  _ he wants to say,  _ more than once _ . 

But he doesn’t. 

Doesn’t want to bring that up again. Instead he says, “In case you haven’t heard, I did break time once.”

Nora rolls her eyes, “Join the club.” 

“See not perfect.”

Nora laughs, and it’s somehow the most wonderful sound that he’s ever heard. Here in this moment he could believe that they might deserve it. That there might be a chance for them to be normal. After this was all over. After all their demons were vanquished. 

Didn’t they deserve that?

He could imagine it so easily. The life he had wanted for himself what feels like years ago. A house in the suburbs, where their only worry is what to have for breakfast the next morning, not the ever breaking timeline. It had been so long that Ray had given up on any dreams like that.

But now…

With Nora…

“I’m going to go get some breakfast,” Nora says, rising up off the couch. “If you wanted to join me?”

He wants to.

So badly.

He wants to do all of this.

Do it properly.

Take Nora on dates.

Slowly fall for each other. 

Maybe one day get down on one knee and...

But first… “I’ve got a few finishing touches to make, but I’ll see you around the ship?”

There’s a flicker of something,  _ disappointment _ , just for a moment before it's gone, and so is Nora.

He forces his gaze back down to what he was working on. To resist the urge to follow after Nora, in an attempt to make it less obvious the way that he was feeling about her. A feeling that Ray still isn’t one hundred percent certain of, but that could be. That almost is.

He knows that he does this.

Falls so quickly and easily for people.

And he’s been falling for Nora for a while.

But this… It feels like fate.

It feels like the universe drawing them together.

As if this is where Ray belongs.

Where he’s always belonged. 

Third time's the charm, right?

A slow clap catches his attention and when he looks up Sara is there leaning in the doorway. 

“How long were you there for?”

Sara shrugs. “Long enough.” 

Ray grimaces. He’s already gotten enough of this from Nate and Zari, even Mick had grunted at him with the clear intention of pointing out that the way Ray was feeling for Nora was obvious.

Honestly, the fact that it had taken Sara  _ this  _ long to bring it up 

“So, I might be falling for Nora.” 

Sara laughs, “No fucking shit.” 

“I just don’t know how to tell her that.” 

“It’s pretty obvious to anyone that has eyes,” Sara points out. “And it’s not like we all don’t know that you’ve fucked.” 

His cheeks heat up instinctively. Not like he’s embarrassed or anything but… “When you put it like that.”

Sara grins at him, too smug. Was this what it was like when they were all teasing her about having feeling for Ava? He can’t remember, but instinctively feels the need to apologize for his past self. 

“You know,” Sara says, drawing out the words. “You should take the day, go talk to Ava, she’s not as unreasonable as she seems and I’m not just saying that because I’m dating her.”

“I know that, I-”

“Maybe she could give you guys a night off the ship,” Sara suggests, “A  _ date night _ .” 

It’s not a bad idea.

Really the only thing standing between him and Nora and a chance at a normal life was the Time Bureau.

Well, that and whatever demon was hunting Nora.

But if John could take care of the demon. 

And if Ray could take care of Time Bureau. 

Maybe there was a chance for them. 

He slips off the ship with one lingering glance to the kitchens, where Nora is, sitting and talking with the rest of the team. In a way that could almost be normal, like she’s starting to belong here. It’s amazing, the amount of progress they’ve made in just a few weeks of her being on the ship.

It feels right.

Like this is where she’s always meant to end up.

And anything that feels like this surely can’t be wrong.

He takes the jump ship to Time Bureau Headquarters. Flashes his patented  _ Ray Palmer  _ smile to get past check in and to Ava’s office easily enough. Though Sara’s suggestion of asking for just a night off isn’t exactly what’s on his mind.

A night would be nice.

A date.

But what Ray wants is so much more than that.

And Ava is the one person that can give him that. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“We need to talk,” Ray says, “About Nora.” 

“I told you before that she’s going to have to face a tribunal,” Ava insists. “It’s not up to me, and even if it was… She broke time, Ray, I know it’s hard to think about that when she’s… When you are… But we are in the business of fixing time.”

“The Legends don’t always fix time.”

“Please don’t remind me,” Ava says, pinching at the bridge of her nose, as if she can feel a headache coming on. “But it’s different, this is-”

“Sara said you might be able to give us a night off the ship,” Ray says. “She’d be with me the whole time. Just a chance to get some fresh air..” 

Ava smiles the smallest smile. “I may have mentioned the possibility to Sara, and I see she passed along the suggestion. I’ll see what I can-”

“Actually,” Ray cuts her off. A brief moment of bravado surging through him because Ray wants more than just that, more than just a day to pretend that they’re normal. 

He wants a lifetime.

A lifetime with Nora. 

“Actually,” Ava prompts, arching an eyebrow at him. 

“I want more than that, I want Nora to get a chance to be normal, not just for one night but for the rest of her life,” Ray says, “You of all people should understand that.”

“Me of all people,” Ava says, her voice deadly cold.

Ray almost gives it all up, all attempt at intimidation. Because really all of this, making  _ threats,  _ doesn’t feel right to him. But for Nora… He’d do anything for Nora.

“I - I could tell everyone about what you are,” Ray says, his voice only shaking a little over the words.

“Are you trying to blackmail me,” Ava asks. Sounding surprised and still a little deadly. He’s pretty sure Ava could kill him if she wanted to. Scatter bits of him through time where nobody could find him. “Really,  _ you _ ?”

“I could,” he insists. “Or I could tell Nora about what you are, and  _ she’d  _ be more than happy to tell everyone.” 

Ava grimaces. “I’ll give you that, but I still don’t think you’d do it.”

No. 

He wouldn’t.

It was her secret to keep. 

But… 

“For Nora I would do anything,” Ray insists, though he can already feel his confidence flagging. “I’m not going to do it, because I respect you too much, but I want you to do this for me. I want a chance for us to be normal, to live happily ever after, when this is all over. She’s innocent, you know that as well as I do.”

Ava sighs. The fight going from her, just as it had gone from him.

“It’s not that easy.”

“Doesn’t she deserve a chance to be normal? Don’t we all?”

 


	7. Chapter Six - Nora

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE LONG DELAY
> 
> i spent the last while focusing on job apps instead of writing fics, but today's a very special day because i FINALLY GOT A JOB so everything is good and perfect again! (or it will be soon!) also tomorrow is my birthday (nov 15th)!! so i figured what better time for an update! hope you all enjoy this (and sorry it took so long).

“It’s called stress baking and it’s-” 

“Actually it’s called burning the kitchen down,” Zari corrects, looking far too smug. 

“I would prefer that you did not burn the kitchen down, Miss Darhk, I have enough trouble as it is with Mr. Rory,” Gideon chimes in unhelpfully. 

Nora lets out a groan before giving up and setting down on the Waverider’s floor instead. Finally admitting defeat on the whole project. Thankfully, once it got bad, Gideon had been quick enough to put the fire out turning off the stove and releasing foam that extinguished the fire just as quick.

“How did you even manage to mess up cookies that bad,” Zari hums from her perch on the kitchen counter. She’s got a box of donuts in her hands, made via the fabricator, and she had been quick to bug Nora about why  _ she  _ hadn’t just used the fabricator to make the cookies herself. After all, there wasn’t much that Gideon couldn’t make. 

But the whole point had been for Nora to make the cookies herself. 

To prove that she could do this one thing right at least. 

Only she’d gotten impatient and using her magic to speed up the process had seemed easy and logical at the time.

“We didn’t even have cookies where I was from and-”

“Me neither,” Nora cuts her off. 

She’s not really friends with Zari. Not sure that she will ever be. But there is something similar between them, a future that they had both shared, a time when the world was not pleasant, but instead dangerous for people like them, metahumans and witches and anyone not close to normal. 

Nora hadn’t seen much of the outside world, the nuns kept her sheltered so that Mallus could flourish inside of her. 

But she had seen enough… 

Nora’s hand shifts from the floor to her stomach. Feeling her child there, a child that would inherit the same future that both Nora and Zari had ran away from. There really was a cruel ironic twist to it all. 

But she would find a way to keep them safe.

Find a place in time where things were simpler, where there wasn’t a great and terrible future looming over them. 

“I won’t always be on the Waverider,” Nora says. A touch of bitterness to her voice. “I have to learn how to do these things.” 

Zari frowns at that. For a second Nora can’t help but wonder what the other woman is thinking, maybe about the cell that the Time Bureau is still so certain will be awaiting Nora sooner rather than later. Maybe the fact that anyone with a shred of intelligence (which was a stretch for the  _ Legends _ ) would know that one day Nora would have to run again. 

That only real point of debate was whether or not she would be running alone.

The thing is as hard as it was to admit to anyone, let alone herself, she does have feelings for Ray. It is impossible not to, when this bond made them connected so that she felt everything that he did. When they share a bed nearly each night, when he is the one there to help wake her up from her nightmares. When Ray looks at her like  _ that _ .

She tries to tell herself that it’s just because of that baby.

That the feeling of affection and something like  _ love  _ that comes off of him more often than not is not actually for her. 

But her heart feels something so much more than that. 

She had thought that today would be easier, Ray off the ship helping to fix whatever anachronism has the Legends’ attention this time, John is with them too which means her usual distraction of looking for a lead on this whole demon situation can’t even help keep her mind off things. 

Last time they talked he had said that he had a lead, something he was going to look into  _ without  _ her. Nora had bristled at the notion, unwilling to let someone else fight her demons for her, despite the fact that she was getting even closer to her due date. 

She isn’t fragile despite what John seemed to insist. 

She was focusing on her training better now, finally starting to get her defensive spells right, rather than just her offensive spells.

And if worse came to worse… She would do what needs to be done. 

Whatever that was. 

Though thinking about it, what would inevitably come, likely sooner rather than later, had only managed to stress her out which had led to the baking and then to the small kitchen fire and now the lingering scent of burnt cookies in the air. 

And still no Ray to be seen… 

It wasn’t supposed to take this long, Gideon had even promised to keep Nora updated if things started to go south, not that Nora was allowed to leave the Waverider and help if they did, but with no updates from Gideon and no updates at all… She cannot help but worry.

Can’t help the feeling of anxiety that seemed to eat away at her. She normally wasn’t like this, usually only bothering to look out for herself, but lately it had been getting worse and worse. Sentiment, attachment, concern, not the sort of things she had planned to feel for anyone other than her baby. Now that was stretching to Ray as well.

She would blame the bond when she could.

But Nora knew herself better than that.

Knew what this all meant. 

“Nora?” 

She had forgotten that Zari was there until the other woman spoke, a note of concern in her voice. Nora can only imagine what she must look like, sitting here on the kitchen floor, a hand of her stomach, the beginning signs of a panic attack coming on, tears blurring her eyes when she opens them to turn what she had intended to be a glare in the other woman’s direction.

“I’m fine,” Nora says quickly. 

It’s a lie. 

They both know it. 

“Gideon,” Zari asks instead.

“I’m  _ fine _ ,” Nora repeats, stronger this time. 

She knows the only reason Zari is even acting like she cares is because she had been put on  _ watch Nora duty  _ by Ray and didn’t want to disappoint him. 

“I need to be alone right now,” Nora says, when her voice is a little bit more stable, and at least this time Zari seems to take the hint, climbing down from the counter that she had been sitting on, and taking her box of donuts with her as she leaves.

Once she is alone in the kitchen once more Nora tries to take another steading breath, tries to push the worry that is eating at her mind away and focus on the task at hand, something manageable. The cookies a waste now, much like everything that she tries to cook has been, but that dishes she could at least do, and punching a recipe into the fabricator. 

That would be a start. 

Nora pushes herself up off the ground, using the counter to help stabilize herself, and tries to work on cleaning up the mess that she had made, focusing on the smell of burnt cookies that lingers in the air, and ignoring the nagging worry inside of her that seems to come wherever she is away from Ray for too long. 

“He’ll be fine,” Nora says, not sure if she’s talking to herself or to the baby, “We’ll all be fine.” 

Not sure if she even believes the words.

Anxiety hums just there under her skin, a distraction that seems to keep her on edge even as she cleans up the kitchen, time moving both too slow and not fast enough.

An echo in her head that keeps repeating her greatest fears.

They’re late.

They’re late, because something has gone wrong.

They’re late, because someone has gotten hurt.

They’re late, because -

“Miss Darhk,” Gideon’s voice halts the echo in her mind, finally giving Nora the news that she had been waiting for, “The jumpship has returned.” 

Nora doesn’t wait to finish washing, barely manages to have the foresight to turn off the tap, the cookie sheet that she had been washing clattering back into the sink. She tries to dry her hands off on jeans as she hurries down the hallway. Had she been in the right frame of mind she might have tried to slow down to tell herself not to look overeager, but she had spent the last few hours worrying and coming up with every possible terrible situation that could possibly happen. 

She needs to see that Ray is okay, needs to see it with her own eyes, so that the tension in her chest will finally lighten up.

When she rounds the corner to the bridge the rest of the Legends are gathering there, all looking intact, though Nora could care about the rest of them, the only person she can focus on is Ray. He’s still wearing whatever dumb costume was declared necessary for this mission, but he’s unharmed and that is enough to cause some of the tension that had been consuming her to finally calm down.

Just a little.

Not enough. 

She needs to touch him, to confirm for herself that he’s real and there and that this isn’t just a trick of her mind. 

He knows.

Senses it through there bond.

Because the next thing she knows he is crossing the room and pulling her into the hug that was exactly what she had needed. She finally relaxes here, her head against his chest, his hand on her lower back holding her steady and sure. 

“Is everything okay with the baby,” Ray asks, soft, a whisper for only her to hear, “I could feel you worrying across time.” 

She knew that their bond was getting stronger, thanks to the more time that they were spending together, but that fact that he could see her while she was in the temporal zone and he was off in whatever time period the Legends had been dispatched to this time was shocking. 

She files that information away for later.

Something to look forward to.

Nora shakes her head against his chest. “No, the baby’s fine.”

“Then why-”

“You were late,” Nora says, a little louder. 

Ray pulls back slightly, and Nora aches at the lack of content, but she looks up to meet his eyes when he pulls back, focuses on watching as he sorts through a complex set of emotions. Emotions that Nora can feel. Confusion, and concern, undercut with something so much softer. 

_ Love _ , her mind supplies.  _ But just love for their baby or- _

“You were worried about me?”

“Of course, I was,” Nora says, aiming for more stubborn than sentimental. “You could have been hurt or…”

“I’m fine,” he reassures her. Waves of comfort rolling off of him. “Everything is fine, it just took a little longer, but we got it all sorted out.”

He keeps talking. Explaining the mission, in a soft quiet tone, what went wrong, what magical fugitive they had to hunt this time. Except she’s stopped listening, doesn’t have any interest in what happened on the mission. All she cares about is the man right in front of her. That he’s safe and sound and her and hers and -

It feels a little foolish.

A little like a mistake.

But if she doesn’t do it now, she’s not certain she ever will.

So she gives into the impulse, reaches to grab the collar of Ray’s coat in her hand and tug him down towards her, just at the same time as she presses up on her toes and presses her lips to his.

For a second neither of them move.

Regret churns in her stomach for just a moment, a moment that seems like forever, before Ray is kissing her back. Leaning now further to make it easier for her, his hand helping to hold her steady where she’s pressed up on her toes.

It’s different from Berlin. From that night that was rushed and maybe a mistake, where she had found her way into his his lap and taken whatever she could from him. This is slower, softer, somehow more intimate despite the fact that they’re both fully clothed and out in the open.

Kissing Ray is easy. It’s soft and good and wonderful and she can feel waves of warmth and happiness radiating off of Ray, consuming her, their bond allowing her to feel that he wants this just as much as she does. 

She feels like she could kiss Ray forever.

In fact, she has half the mind too, but the sound of someone slow clapping in the background catches her off guard enough that she remembers where she is and who is all around them. 

“Took you long enough,” Sara comments, far too smugly.

And Nora has been waiting a long time for an excuse to flip her off.

It’s only mildly satisfying, especially when Ray tries to chide her softly, “Nora.”

Instead, she kisses him again, ignoring everyone else for a little bit longer.

  
  



	8. Chapter Seven - Ray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!! 
> 
> (i got some writing done on the plane "home" for the holidays,, because i've been having SO MANY darhkatom feels after that last episode. so enjoy this! or something...)

For a few days everything is so perfect and wonderful that he almost feels bad waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It’s so easy to enjoy all of this, to get caught up in the moment of finally having everything that he’s ever wanted, that he forgets about everything else that they have to worry about. Sure, there’s still the usual anachronisms,and Nora’s looming due date plus everything that will come after that. But for a moment Ray is content and happy. 

They spend most of their time together when he’s on the ship, and when he’s not he’s always thinking of her, feeling her presence in the back of his mind watching over him whatever way she can. He wakes up every morning beside the mother of his child, the woman that he’s fallen in love with (though he still has yet to say those exact words to her), free to kiss her any chance he gets. 

He loves her.

Of course, he loves her.

How can he not.

But something stops him every time before get goes to say those three little words, a fear that maybe she won’t say them back, that maybe he’s moving too soon. Lingers instead in the happiness that he has, in these moments that can be perfect and just enough.

Just being with her.

It’s enough. 

It has to be. 

She’s in his lab, it’s late enough that they really should both be in bed, but the last anachronism had left his ATOM suit in need of repairs. Not that he was able to focus on any of that with Nora here, sitting up on one of the lab tables as she watches him work, offering small commentary as he works. 

It’s a little distracting, if he’s being honest.

But he doesn’t mind the distraction.

Explaining what he’s working on to Nora is a welcome distraction. 

He’s happy, the happiest that he’s been in a long while, and he feels like he could live like this forever, spend every moment of his life with Nora beside him and never want for anything else. 

“We could have been doing this months ago,” Ray says. Not thinking as he speaks the words out loud, not really able to help himself. 

He’s supposed to be fixing his suit but he’s so caught up in the simple domesticity if it all, of Nora sitting in his lab and quietly watching him work, even though she’s told him multiple times that she doesn’t understand any of the science and has no chance in learning any of it. Still she listens nodding her head at the right moment, letting him talk science that they both know just goes right over her head.

He’s interrupted the moment, the little peace that they had, and he feels bad for a second. Especially when Nora smiles softly at that. A twinge of regret flickers over their bond. Along with something else a hint of  _ want _ .

It’s silly but the closer they get, the more time they’ve been spending together, the easier it is for Ray to sense their bond.

He may not be a warlock, but maybe he’s not a completely lost cause when it comes to magic. Or at least Nora’s magic.

He can feel her beconning him over, wanting to kiss him. So he goes willingly abandoning his work station for when she’s sitting up on one of the other lab tables. Sitting up here they’re closer in height than usual and he only has to lean down a little to kiss her.

In moments like this, the emotions that they share as so much more powerful. Easy to get lost in. Ray could easily spend the rest of his life kissing Nora and never get tired of it. 

The fact that they had spent so long in each other’s company  _ not  _ doing this, feels like the real crime. And that wasn’t even counting the months before that without her, months where she had been pregnant and on the run and Ray had known nothing about it. 

Nora pulls back from him, after a moment, and rather that the usual happy look on her face there’s a touch of disapproval there, having been able to sense his thoughts. 

“You can’t honestly say that you would’ve wanted to be on the run with me,” Nora says that disapproving look on his face.

And this is a discussion that Ray would really rather avoid.

One of the downsides of having a mental link.

He leans back in to kiss her again hoping that kissing her would distract from all of that, but Nora holds her hand up to stop him from doing so.

He pointedly presses a light kiss to her finger tips before pulling back.

Well, if there really was no avoiding it then - “If it was with you…”

Nora shakes her head. “Being on the run was awful, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone else.”

“It would’ve been easier with help though,” he insists. 

Nora looks conflicted. Eventually she says, “It doesn’t matter, we can’t change the past, what’s happened has happened.”

He knows that this is meant to be a serious conversation but Ray can’t help but smile at her words, redirecting the conversation. “Nora, where are we right now?”

She shoots him a look, as if to imply that he’s being an idiot and say, “Your lab.”

“On the?”

“On the Waverider,” she answers.

“Which is a time ship,” Ray points out. “We’re literally time travelers, our whole  _ job _ is to change the past.”

Nora rolls her eyes, playfully hitting as him, “You’re the  _ worst, _ ” though there’s no bite to her words. “And anyways that’s your job. I’m just on house arrest remember.” 

She pointedly rubs at her arm as she speaks, against the tracker that he knows is just there under the surface of her skin.

“After this is all over, maybe you could join the Legends full time,” Ray suggests. 

Almost casual. 

Trying to hide the note of hopefully from her voice.

Nora just snorts a laugh in reply. “I don’t think they’ll want me.”

He knows that’s not true. The Legends were all for giving people second chances, sure Nora was taking her sweet time growing on the team and getting them to like her, but he’s certain that eventually they could get there and if not.

He had a plan.

Ava had said that she would see what could be done. 

“Just you wait and see,” Ray says, “They’re already starting to like you.”

And if all else failed, Ray would leave the Legends, without a second thought, without any hesitation. He’d choose Nora and their child, over the Legends one hundred times over. 

Spending the rest of his life in one time, not saving the day or being a hero might sound boring to anyone else, but to Ray, with Nora… It could be perfect.

He’s so caught up in all of this, the feeling of being so completely in love with her, that he doesn’t notice the way Nora freezes slightly, the way her smile suddenly seems forced compared to the way it shined bright a moment before.

“Yeah, sure,” Nora says, a hint of a laugh to her voice. Doubtful still. 

She shifts slightly, with the intention to get down from the lab table that she had been sitting on and Ray helps her down making sure that when she reaches the ground again it is on steady feel.

He forgets how much smaller than him she is until moments like these when she’s settling down beside him on bare feet, her hand small and delicate in his as he steadies her. 

She’s not fragile.

He knows that and she’d hate him for implying that. 

But she’s  _ tiny _ , in comparison, and the only thing  _ big  _ about her appearance in the swell of her stomach as they get closer and closer to her due date.

About a month away now and the thought makes Ray a lot more nervous that he likes to admit that it does. He’s not sure he’s ready to be a father, not sure he ever will be, neither of them have the best role models when they come to this. But he was going to do right by their child, and right by her, this much he knows for certain.

Nora yawns, an exaggerated one, he can tell it’s hardly real before she says, “I should leave and let you get back to work.”

“I could come join you in bed,” Ray offers, “If you want?”

“Fix that suit of yours,” she says with a shake of her head. After a moment's, pause adds “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Don’t wait up for me,” he tells her, leaning down to press a small brief kiss to her lips. A simple chaste thing, though he wants so much more.

When they pull apart, she smiles back like a promise as he lets her go, watching as she leaves the room. 

A part of him wants to follow her. Wants to spend every moment that he has with Nora. 

But she was right he did have work to do and he hadn’t been able to focus with her around, having made no real progress in repairing his suit.

So he resists the urge.

Just barely.

Turning back instead to his work. It’s easy to lose track of time while working. Repairs and modifications to the suit taking a lot more time than it normally would due to the damage taking during the last anachronism. Without Nora to remind him to get back to bed, and without Gideon prompting him to finally get some sleep by turning off the lights it is easy to lose track of time.

By the time Ray finishes working he’s lost all track of time.

He can feel the hints of exhaustion settling in him, late enough that not even coffee will help, the only thing at this point that would help is a few hours of sleep. Ray smiles softly at that, at the thought of who will be waiting for him in his bed, and goes to turn off the lights in the lab.

“Gideon, what time is it,” Ray asks when he finally finishes, heading out into the hallway. 

Usually Gideon is quick to answer, a note of judgment in her tone, but this time the AI is oddly silent. 

Ray waits a second, and then another, but no reply.

He’s tired enough that he doesn’t think too much of that, Gideon has been known in the past to ignore them when she was in a bit of a mood, normally because she disapproved of their decisions for one reason or another. And while the AI had at least seemed less exasperated with him lately now that and Nora had sorted themselves out. Silence as a punishment for staying up too late wasn’t too shocking. 

Though, when the doors to his room slide open, and he realizes that Nora is not in bed as he had expected her to be. The reminder of Gideon’s silence from moments before makes it all too easy to assume the worse. 

He’s not good at this really, has no practice, with magic, but as he tries to resist the urge to panic at the sight of his empty bed, the sheets not even messed up from when he had made them up this morning, he tries to reach out for Nora with their mental link. Lately he has gotten better at this, maybe not able to sense all of her emotions at a distance, but at least normally able to sense  _ where  _ on the ship she is. But this time when he closes his eyes and tries to reach out for Nora he receives nothing back in return.

The feeling of dread only grows. 

Suddenly any hint of exhaustion disappears in an instant replaced by fear of the absolute worst, and -

There’s a note on the bed.

A folded piece of paper that it had taken a second for him to notice.

But once he does he crosses the room to grab it, unfolding the paper with haste. There’s not much written there, but there’s no way he could fail to recognize the handwriting there. Small cramped and a little messy, Nora’s handwriting. 

Two words.

_ I’m sorry.  _

He folds the note back up, unable to stop his chest from hurting, tucks it in his pocket. 

Where was she?

How was she even able to leave? 

Why would she leave without telling him anything? 

Why wouldn’t she take him with her?

By the time he ends up on the bridge Zari is there too, grumbling about how someone had managed to shut off Gideon and how it was always her job to fix it. Sara is there as well, sleepy and half dressed, with Ava in a similar state beside her. 

“I called for a team meeting,” Sara tells him when he arrives on the bridge, “Something’s wrong with Gideon.” 

He knows.

Knows before she even has to say it. 

Knows it deep inside of him with a terrible certainty 

The note a heavy weight in his pocket, the truth of it all, that she had left without him in the dead of the night, left without saying anything. 

And when Mick and Nate turn up shortly after the one missing piece of it all makes sense. 

Even before, Zari turns back on Gideon, and she says the words, Ray knows what she’s going to say - “Mr. Constantine and Miss Darhk used her time stone to leave the ship.” 

  
  



	9. Chapter Eight - Nora

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is probably the fastest turn around time for a chapter that we will ever have, but i was determined to get this bit out

This is a mistake.

She knows that.

Knows that somewhere deep inside of herself, but…

There isn’t a better option, John had said that he could get a location on the demon that was hunting her, he said that they didn’t need to do it _tonight_ , but that there was a chance that things wouldn’t…

That it might not be enough…

Going to fight a demon on it’s own turf was a risk in and of itself, things had been hard enough to just keep running before and now she’s even further from peak condition, but what choice did they have?

So here she is eight months pregnant and being used as glorified demon bait wasn’t the best of plans. Her and John were the only ones with any real sort of experience when it came to fighting off demons. And the thought of possibly risking the rest of the team - she didn’t care for the Legends, not really, but Ray…. She couldn’t let anything happen to Ray.

Couldn’t do anything that might put him in any more danger.

It had hurt not being able to say anything, to leave with nothing more than a note, but if she had told him. If she had mentioned what she and John had been planning, there was no way that Ray would have let the two of them go alone.

No, not her Ray, stubbornly over protective of her as he is.

Of _them_.

He would’ve wanted to be here, and with no magical experience of his own…

She had already lost her father to a demon. She could not bear the thought of losing Ray to one as well.

Which is why she had to do this alone.

Or well, not entirely alone.

John’s here too, technically.

Though at the moment he’s currently drawing their trap wards around the abandoned church.

Why was it always that these sorts of demons dwelled in abandoned churches? Demons always seemed to relish in places like this, where religion had gone wrong. Standing here in these dusty pews, it is all too easy to remember her own childhood. The years she spend locked up with the _sisters_ guiding her and shaping her into the perfect vessel for Mallus.

Hours locked away in a prison, inside her own mind, so often that she had forgotten whether the world was supposed to be tinted blue or if that was her mind playing tricks on her again.

Training her.

Tricking her.

Teaching her.

Molding her into a perfect form.

And then _abandoning_ her.

She feels in now, a loneliness that seems to settle deep into her veins, finding its way to her heart, freezing her where she stands. She had cut off the connection to Ray right as soon as she had shorted the Time Bureau’s tracker in her arm, making it impossible for them to find her.

But now without the presence of Ray’s constant emotional state in the back of her mind.

Without the ever present voice of Mallus…

Her head feels too empty.

Cutting off the mental link to Ray had meant cutting off the link to their baby as well, and now, feeling no feedback from anyone, she cannot help the feeling of concern and fear that floods her body. Even as she presses her hand against the swell of her stomach feeling the child within she cannot help but fear that her sense are all wrong.

That she’s already lost.

That she’s alone.

But then again…

She doesn’t have to be alone…

Does she…

There’s a voice just there, whispering quiet enough that Nora has to strain to hear it, calling out for her, for them, promising that she will never have to be alone again, that she will never have to worry again, all she needs to do is step forward and -

“Nora!”

John’s voice is sharp, loud compared to the whispers in her head and when Nora’s eyes snap open suddenly (she’s not even entirely certain when they had slipped shut) it seems as if her entire surroundings have changed.

Gone are the dusty pews, the light cut through broken stained glass windows, instead in its place the room seems to be cast filled with cobwebs that glow with a murky yellow color, the demon’s signature. Not that familiar blue color of Mallus. Not the welcoming sunshine either. But instead a stench like death lingers in the air and she -

“Nora!”

She takes one step forward.

And then another.

The whispering voices are louder -

Promising her things that some rational part of her knows cannot be real -

Safety and peace -

An escape from this loneliness -

A world where nothing can hurt her -

A world where they can be _normal_ -

With the man that she -

“Nora!”

There’s pain -

She stumbles falling forward onto her knees -

Pain in her chest, her heart beating too fast -

Pain in her lungs, struggling to remember how to breathe -

Pain in her head, an invasive pounding that she can’t escape -

Pain in her stomach, where the baby is -

“Nora! Come back, damn it!”

There’s a hand on her wrist holding her back, holding in her place. She twists in an attempt to pull away from him, to move forward, towards the yellow glow, into the welcoming arms of -

She gasps.

Twisting in place as the scenery suddenly changes.

The sudden sunlight too bright.

The city too loud around them.

And Nora, lost in another place, and another time.

Not where she should be at all.

“What the fuck, John,” Nora says, coming back to herself suddenly in the absence of the demonic temptations around them.

She can take a deep breath without choking on the air. There’s no lingering stretch of dead in the air, well no more than there usually would be in a city like this. There’s no voices in the back of her head tempting her to run away with them.

No - “What was that?”

John curses next to her, “We need to keep running, love, it nearly had you.”

There’s concern on his face when she looks up to meet his gaze, and as he offers her a hand to help her up off the ground she notices marks like thorns against her palms, but she can’t remember getting them. Can’t remember much of anything it’s all a fog.

But one thing sticks out clear as day.

“We ran,” Nora says, her throat still sticky and sore, “Instead of fighting it, you forced me to use the time stone and-”

“It would’ve had you,” John insists stubbornly.

“If we could’ve sent that damn thing to hell then-”

“It would’ve killed the baby,” John says.

And suddenly any argument that Nora might have had falls short and she turns silent. The voices that were there had been offering her peace, had been offering her a chance to be normal.

But in every scenario that it had presented… In every vision that it had offered her, one thing had been missing.

 _The baby_.

The sobs that overtake her body are sudden and involuntary and when John stepped forward to hug her she melts into his embrace. It’s not right, not enough, not who she wants to be holding onto her. But here in some strange city, in some strange time,  it’s enough to ground her for a moment.

Enough to remind her that she needs to keep running.

That if she stays in the same place for too long it will find her again.

As it has been doing for months.

The brief respite on the Waverider had coddled her too much.

John presses the time stone in her hand, and Nora holds down on it pulling them again, letting her magic take them far away,  

Another random city, another random time.

And then another.

And then another.

And then a-

It hurts, the time stone burning against her palm, and Nora drops it suddenly, taking in with bleary eyes their surroundings. The rain pouring down around them. The nearly empty parking lot. The sign above them lit up and illuminating the offerings of a twenty-four hour diner.

“I need to recharge before we can jump again,” Nora says, cursing herself, cursing her own weakness. John nods at that, leaning down to pick the time stone up off the ground where she had dropped it and tucking it back into his own pocket.

Nora takes a moment just to breathe in the fresh air.

To feel the water coming down soaking her, as she turns her face up towards the sky,

To relish this, the first moment that she had been out of the temporal zone properly in months.

They’re going to have to run again soon, and keep running, keep planning and figure out a way to try again.

“It’s my fault,” Nora says, “I was too weak, I almost gave in and I-”

“Don’t beat yourself up, kid,” John says. “I should have been paying more attention to you.”

 _Kid_.

 _Paying attention_.

As if she still was that little girl that Mallus had taken over.

As if that’s all she will ever be.

“Can you get us back to the Waverider,” John asks, after a moment, and Nora finally turns her head away from the sky to shoot an annoyed look in his direction. “I meant, after you’ve had some time to recover.”

“They’ll lock me up,” Nora says, a hint of desperation in her voice. “I broke my _house arrest_ , if we go back they’ll just lock me up and then it will get me and… And the baby… And I…”

She squeezes her eyes shut, refusing to cry again, refusing to be so close to breaking again so soon. This is her fault. She had blown her one chance of running. Her one chance to save them all. Because she had been tempted and by what, a vision of a life that could never exist. The demon twisting her sentiment, finding her weak spot and using it to hurt her.

Nora flinches back at John’s hand against her shoulder.

“Don’t-”

“Let’s just go inside the diner, alright, love, get ourselves dried off.”

She lets him lead them into the diner. Keeps her head down, trying to calm the way her body shakes the second they are out of the rain. The bone deep chill that had settled in her back when they were in that abandoned church. That lingers there still now even once they are out of the rain and a slightly frazzled waitress moves around setting them up with the booth in the corner.

Even the two cups of coffee that John orders them doesn’t seem to make her feel any better.

“I can’t have coffee,” Nora mumbles quietly. “It’s bad for the baby.”

John shakes his head at her, “Fuck it, you need something to warm you up.”

“ _Ray_ said it’s bad for the baby,” Nora corrects.

And suddenly for the first time since the demon first tried to take hold of her again, tried to offer her whatever her heart desired in exchange for the perfect vessel that she was growing inside of her, she thinks about Ray.

Ray, who is cut off from her emotionally for the first time in months.

Ray, who is probably worried about her.

Ray, who wouldn’t have found comfort in the note left behind.

Ray, who would fight her for, even if the Time Bureau tried to lock her up again.

Ray, who had insisted that he would run away with her, just moments before she ran away from him.

She may not know exactly how to time jump back to the Waverider, and it probably isn’t the best idea, going back, not if she wanted to spend her life anywhere other than a Time Bureau prison cell. But not being able to feel Ray, meant not being able to feel the baby, and more than anything she needs to know that they’re safe.

Vaguely Nora acknowledges John standing up, saying that he’s going to go take a smoke break under the restaurants awning while their food is being made, and try to come up with another plan for them.

But only just vaguely.

Because the second he steps away from the table, Nora lets down the mental block that she had put in place to keep Ray out of her head. It takes just a second. One breath where she still feels nothing and then the emotions are pouring in.

Concern.

Fear.

Anxiousness.

Betrayal.

Hurt.

Pain.

Her hand presses against her stomach, trying to determine which emotions are the baby’s and which are Ray’s. The baby is still there, still alive, but there’s an undercurrent of pain, and it’s harder to get any feedback from the baby than it normally is. The same pain that Nora had been ignoring in the rest of her body. Coldness that stings.

“I’m so sorry,” she says, quietly, unsure really who she is talking to. Ray or the baby, or both. “I’m sorry,” she repeats over and over again. “I’m sorry.”

She’s crying again, something she only notices when the waitress comes back by with a cup of tea in her hands this time.

“How soon are you due,” the waitress asks, concern there in her features and it takes Nora a second to figure out what she’s asking.

To take in the way the waitress is dressing, the style of her clothing, the polite but worried look on her face. Nora can’t imagine what this must look like… What _they_ must look like. John in his trench coat and Nora in a grey sweater that does little to hide her pregnancy. The blood on his jacket, the burns on her palms, the way the rain had soaked through all their clothes.

If she was to guess at a date she would say late 1970s.

A small town like this, off the side of the highway…

“Just a few more weeks,” Nora says, trying for polite but disinterested so that the waitress will go away.

She had gotten questions like this before, when she had just barely been showing, all alone and on the run.

“Do you worry that he’s going to hurt the baby?”

“What,” Nora asks. So shocked by the question that she can’t comprehend why this woman - this stranger - would ask.

“I just… You starting crying once he left, we just assumed, me and the other girls…”

“He’s not the father,” Nora says. Trying to brush off her concern.

But the woman just makes a small _oh_ noise, as if it all makes sense, “Is that why he hits you?”

The waitress gestures towards Nora’ cheek as she says this, and Nora turns catching her reflection slightly in the glass windows. There’s another one of those yellow burns from the demon, like the ones on her hands, there against her right cheek and up towards her hairline.

That would explain the headache at least.

She can’t explain really. That the reason they both look like this isn’t because John is some alcoholic husband forcing her to be on the run with him. Can’t explain that there is a demon chasing her and that John is a friend, maybe even a mentor, and the best chance she had at stopping what was hunting her. She can’t explain that the father of her baby, the man that she _loved_ was out there somewhere worrying about her and that she had started crying because she felt how upset he was by her leaving without a word.

She can’t explain any of that.

So she smiles a bit forced, and says, “It’s complicated.”

“If you need-”

“What day is it,” Nora asks suddenly.

Another flash of concern but the nurse answers, “March 3rd, 1981.”

She’d been off by a few years in her original assessment.

“Why,” the waitress asks.

Thankfully before she has to explain more the bell above the door chimes and John returns. The lingering smell of smoke clings to him, mixed with the damp smell that comes from the rain.

She listens half heartedly as he explains another plan, a contact he has in Seattle that they could look into, another in London, or a specialist last seen in Venice who had known where to get criminals not worth much, the sort of man it wasn’t a waste to turn into a vessel. It’s all too much too think about, too much to even focus on, with that undercut of pain still there.

“We know where it is, we know where it’s home is,” Nora says, “We just need to go back there and-”

“ _I_ need to,” John corrects, “And I need some backup, but _you_ need to stay as far away from temptation as possible.”

Temptation.

Because she was the girl who had trained to be a vessel, who would always be tempted to become one again.

It’s a mistake.

And it will probably lead to another cell.

But maybe if she can bargain things right, wait until the baby is born… If Ray and the baby could be safe then.

“It would be easier to defeat the demon if it was trapped in a vessel, right?”

John stills at that, “Don’t even think about it, love.”

“But it would be,” Nora presses the question.

“Of course, but you’re not risking just yourself with that,” John points out, “You’d be offering up your baby as well.”

It was just like she had told the waitress.

Just a few more weeks.

Nora closes her eyes instead of answering John, rests her palms down flat on the table and reaches out to Ray using their mental link. She sends everything she can think of his way. Ignoring the emotional feedback to try and project her location to him. The diner. The rainy town. The date that the waitress had given her.

Hoping that it will be enough.

That somehow he will understand.

When she opens her eyes John is still lecturing her about what she has to lose. How she shouldn’t bring something good and innocent down with her. Because they both know that she has never been innocent. That she even got the chance to be.

He stops his lecture when their food arrives.

And Nora tries to focus on eating.

Knows that she needs the energy after all of those time jumps.

That the baby needs her to eat.

But all the food tastes stale on her tongue, sits heavy in her stomach, offering her no comfort at all.

It doesn’t take long, she’s not even finished with her meal when they arrive.

She hadn’t expected it to be.

Had known that he would be listening for her the second she reignited their bond, and that had she given him the right amount of information that it would only be a matter of time. John shoots her a sympathetic look when the chime over the door goes off and he sees who is coming is just as she turns over her shoulder to do so as well.

“You did the right thing,” he says to her quietly.

“Why does it feel like a mistake then,” Nora asks, just as quietly back.

The diner’s staff seems to be a bit startled by the newcomers. The diner almost empty save for two other booths being occupied that the sight of two women, dressed just as odd for the time period as Nora is, and one man, enter the room and make a beeline for their most recent customers no doubt catching them off guard.

Sara.

Ava.

And _Ray_.

Nora shifts slightly closer to the window as they approach.

Unwilling to look at them. John doesn’t have any of her qualms, shooting Ava one of his signature _John Constantine_ smiles. “Before you go passing the blame around, pet, it was my idea.”

“No it wasn’t,” Nora says, unwilling to let John lie for her.

Even if it would lessen her sentence.

“It partially was,” he insists. “I’m the one that found the rotten little beastie.”

“I’m the one that disabled the tracker,” Nora replies. “I’m the one that asked you not to tell the rest of the team, that wanted us to do this alone.”

“And did you,” Ava prompts cutting them both off before either of them can try to accept more of the blame. “Did you send whatever was hunting you to hell?”

John grimaces. “Not exactly.”

Sara lets out a sigh, more of a defeated noise than anything else and slides into the booth beside John, pushing him over and out of the way, with enough space for Ava to sit beside her. Though it hardly looks comfortable with the three of them all squashed together on one side.

Of course, looking at them is a lot easier than acknowledging who it is that takes the space right beside her.

She can sense that Ray is hurting so clearly, but there is concern there too, worry for her.

She doesn’t deserve his worry.

“Does someone want to tell me what happened,” Sara says after a moment. Using that _Captain_ tone of voice. Despite the fact that Nora is not actually a Legend, she still feels the need to explain herself when Sasra uses that tone. “And exactly the two of you were thinking?”

“I was bait,” Nora says, “I was going to draw the demon out into the open so that John could send it to hell.”

“And that didn’t work,” Sara asks.

Nora shakes her head.

She can’t bring herself to say _why_ it failed.

Thankfully Sara doesn’t ask for them too.

She just lets out another frustrated sigh, “If you had told us what was going on we could’ve helped, the _team_ could have helped.”

Nora can’t help it, the bitter laugh that spills past her lips. “Don’t bother. I know that I’m not part of your team, and that I never will be.”

She’s focusing on Sara’s face, so she catches it, the momentary look of guilt on her face. But Sara does not deny her point. How could she? When they both knew the truth that even after all those weeks on the ship Nora was still considered and outsider, still considered a prisoner.

Everyone was just waiting for her to have the baby, and then…

“I know I broke my house arrest,” Nora says, turning to Ava now instead. “I’ll serve my time in a Time Bureau cell, just… After the baby is born. Please. The demon, it’ll come for me, but if the baby is safe in the temporal zone, when that happens then-”

“For fuck’s sake, Nora, I’ve already told you, we’re not letting you become another vessel just to-”

“I can agree to those terms, Miss Darhk,” Ava cuts off John’s interruption.

“She’s just going to be a sitting duck to-”

“Then it’s all-”

“Do you have any idea how worried I was,” Ray asks. His voice so soft compared to hers and Ava’s and John’s that she could almost miss it.

But she can’t.

Not when she can feel his hurt so clearly that it feels like her own, tearing her apart inside, finding its hold there in her chest like a vice. Tears that she isn’t even certain are her own burning at her eyes.

“And now I have to sit here and listen to you offer yourself up as _bait_ ,” Ray says.

This she feels too.

An undercut of something more than hurt.

Of anger.

At her.

At John.

At this whole situation.

She can’t have this discussion in front of the whole peanut gallery.

She doesn’t want to have it at all.

Nora doesn’t turn to look at him, can’t turn to look at him, because if she does she knows that she will break. Instead she fixes her gaze on the coffee cup in the middle of the table. The one that she didn’t drink out of, because _his_ previous warnings had stopped her.

“I’m doing this for you,” she says, “For you and for the baby. I need to do this, I need to let him take control of me so that he doesn’t try to take control of our child. So that the two of you can be safe.”

“I don’t want that,” Ray says.

And this time she does turn to look at him.

Snapping her head to the side.

Anger of her own there.

That he won’t let her do this.

That he won’t let her protect him.

“I could’ve lost you today,” he says, and she can feel his grief so clearly, choking them both up. “I thought I had lost you, when I couldn’t feel you, I thought that I might have been too late that you might have died and I would have… I couldn’t… I can’t imagine…”

She wants to hold him.

Wants to give in to this.

To do anything to stop them both from hurting but she can’t.

Instead his words bring her back to herself to the one thing that she can focus on, the one thing that she can manage, the chill that she still feels inside of her, the too close brush with the demon hunting her.

The panic spills out into her voice, as  she turns away from Ray and instead turns back to Sara, “I need Gideon to check me over. The demon, he tried to take the baby and now I can’t feel them, I just feel cold and I… I need to know that my baby is still safe.”

  
  



	10. Chapter Nine - Ray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's been a while since I updated and tbh I did not expect it to take this long. But in case you follow (or followed, I guess) me on tumblr, you might have notice that my blog was purged about a month ago. Right after the last update. Since then my mood has dropped a lot in regards to fic stuff and I've basically had writers block really bad because of it. I kept telling myself I would update this fic once my blog was back but it's been a month with nothing so I'm just assuming at this point that I'm never getting it back. 
> 
> Anyways, my writers block is still a lot to work thru, but I wanted to get this out quickly. And I want to finish this fic by the end of the year. So this chapter is unbeta'd and the rest will probably be as well. 
> 
> Hope some of you have still stuck around!

He’s not usually the type to pace about.

But there’s something about this whole situation that makes him feel the need to. There’s anxious energy coursing through him, a combination of both of their worries, seeming to double and triple and quadruple the longer they wait for Gideon’s verdict. 

He had thought that he had lost Nora before.

When he had been unable to feel her Ray had worried that he was too late that he had already lost her, the relief he had felt when finally he could feel Nora again was too much to explain. But the closer they had gotten to her, the way she seemed to not even care about her own life, that had hurt. 

Anger was easier to feel than hurt.

That she would leave without telling him. That she would risk her life without a concern for how  _ he  _ would feel without her. That maybe if he had been there he could have helped. 

He should have been there.

Should have been able to sense the second that she closed herself.

He may not be as good as magic as Nora or John were but that fact that he had let this slip by. 

He could have lost her.

They might have lost the baby. 

And he…

“Stop it,” Nora finally speaks, “You’re making me more anxious.” 

Ray bites back a scathing reply, that the reason he’s pacing about is because she -

“I know this is all my fault, okay,” Nora says, as if sensing his thoughts. And when he turns to look at her there’s the smallest hint of color on her cheeks, and she pointedly turns to avoid his gaze. “Look you’re terrible at shielding, it’s not like I mean to read your mind it just sometimes happens, especially when you’re thinking so loudly.”

Ray stops his pacing to attempt to settle down in the other chair in the medbay instead. 

He’s not relaxed.

Not sure he’ll ever be relaxed again.

But he tries to take a steadying breath. 

“Nora, I…” He can’t bring himself to finish the sentence, can’t think of anything that he’d even want to say. All his thoughts are hurtful and bitter. So unlike him that Ray feels bad. That tears burn at his eyes when he looks away from Nora. 

He feels so close to breaking. 

So far away from Nora even though only the distance between the two medbay seats is the only thing physically separating them.

Emotionally, however… Nora still has her walls up. Not as strong as they were before when he couldn’t feel her at all. But still there, harder for him to sense exactly what she is feeling. The only thing really coming through is worry.

For the baby.

Just for the baby… 

Not for herself. 

“Were you really going to just give yourself up to that demon without even saying goodbye.”

Nora lets out a small noise, almost a sigh, “You would have tried to stop me.”

“Of course I would have!”

He doesn’t mean to raise his voice, but he can’t help it. Nora matches his tone the second she speaks. “That’s why I couldn’t tell you!”

“Maybe I could have helped! If I had gone with you-”

“It’s magic Ray,” Nora says, a bitter twist to her voice, “You don’t know the  _ first  _ thing about magic!”

“I know that it’s not worth your life!”

“Our child-”

“Is that what the demon told you? Our child safe and sound if you traded yourself away, because John told me-”

“Oh so now we’re listen to John!”

“Apparently you trust him more than you trust me!”

“This isn’t about John!”

“Then what is it about?”

She doesn’t answer him. 

He’s not sure why he expected a straight answer out of her. 

“Damn it, Nora! I love you! I can’t lose you!”

There’s silence in the wake of his words.

Silence that stretches.

As Nora pointedly doesn’t say those three little words back.

She refuses to even look at him. Her hands clenched tightly in fists in her lap. 

For the first time Ray wishes that he could close Nora off from what he is feeling too. So that she wouldn’t be able to feel how much that silence is hurting him. The realization that once again he cares so much more than the other person ever could.

It shouldn’t be a surprise.

This isn’t the first or even second time that this has happened. 

“I can’t do this,” Ray says, pushing himself up from the chair. 

“Ray-”

He ignores her, because whatever Nora is about to say now won’t make this any better. He needs to leave this space. Needs to lock himself up in the lab or somewhere that he can be alone with his thoughts. Not his room,  _ their  _ room, the one that will feel too empty without Nora there “Gideon let me when the results come in, I’ll be-”

“Actually, Doctor Palmer, I have the results now.” 

For the second time that night he feels his heart stop in his chest. 

Anticipation. 

“Oh?”

He can’t help but wonder how long Gideon had the results, waiting for the right moment to give them to them. The right moment to say whether their baby was still alive or… 

“I’ve done all I can from my end,” Gideon explains. “By all tests the baby appears to be perfectly healthy.”

Perfectly healthy.

At least, there was that.

At least, they hadn’t - “Then why can’t feel the baby?”

Nora’s voice is so small. Aching. Barely more than a horrified whisper. 

Ray wants to cross the space between them. To hold her. Because they nearly lost there baby, because Nora is still cut off from their child, floating there in the space between. But she didn’t say anything when he told her that he loved her and he’s no longer certain where they stand.

“I’m sorry, Miss Darhk, I cannot do anything about that,” Gideon says sounding genuinely apologetic.

Nora nods a little to herself, drawing her hands into her lap, and not saying anything. 

Ray lingers awkwardly for a minute before deciding that he probably should still leave. Nora will no doubt want a moment alone with her thoughts, and even though Ray is relieved to know that  the baby is alright, there is still so much between them that he doesn’t not know how to avoid talking about.

So much that will only bring Nora more hurt. 

No matter what happens between them the last thing he wants to do is to hurt Nora.

“I should go,” he says again, softer this time.

“Wait,” Nora says, quickly, that small tone still there in her voice, “Can you feel the baby?”

“I’m not good at telling the difference between what you’re feeling and what they are.” 

“Come here.” 

He should leave, he should, but he has ached to touch Nora since the second he found her in that diner. And now here she is a frown still on her face reaching out for his hand. Ray takes her hand, lets her tug up her shirt and place his hand on the swell of her stomach. 

He can suddenly feel everything.

All too much. 

Everything that Nora has been pushing down.

The undercurrent of  _ fear  _ so strong that it catches Ray off guard. 

He nearly pulls his hand away, but Nora’s is steady on his wrist keeping him in place.

“I’m going to shield my own emotions,” Nora says, “Try to feel for the baby’s emotions.”

He nods his head in understanding, and a moment later that same dumb feeling from before comes back. When Nora was completely cut off from him. When he thought that he had lost her. He closes his eyes, focusing on something beyond the lack of Nora’s presence, at a light just barely there that pushes back against him.

A second later there is a kick against his hand and Ray can’t help the smile that comes so easily to his face.

Their baby.

Alive and well.

Recognizing him instantly. 

“You can, can’t you,” Nora says. The dread and regret in her voice, enough to bring Ray’s attention back to her. 

His happiness wavers at the defeated look on her face. 

And when she finally lets go of his wrist he pulls his hand back.

Even without the physical contact he can still feel that brush of  _ light  _ there in the back of his mind, even when Nora’s muted emotions come back into his subconscious a moment later. 

“I’m being punished,” Nora says, more to herself than to him. “I know I deserve it, but…”

He should argue with her.

Should tell her that it’s not her fault.

But a part of him is still hurt at the fact that she had left without a word...

That he had nearly lost them both...

That she didn’t love him back...

“Maybe you can ask John,” Ray says, bitterness just barely there, “He’s the one that know this  _ magic  _ stuff.”

“Stop it,” Nora says. “I don’t want to fight about this, it won’t change what’s happened.” 

“Right,” Ray agrees. “Well, I’m assuming you’re moving back into your old room?”

He doesn’t need to feel her emotions to see how much those words hurt. He can see it in the flash of her eyes. “Do you want to know what the demon offered me?”

No.

Not really.

Because if it had been enough to tempt her once then it might again. 

But - “Something tells me you’re going to tell me no matter what.”

The smallest hint of a smile finds its way onto her face for the first time since they found her in that diner. Before it fades a second later,  _ shame  _ flooding their bond when she starts to speak, “The demon showed me the two of us, happy and together, told me that all I had to do was give up our baby and the two of us could be safe and happy for the rest of our lives.” 

“What,” he says, because how else can he even respond. 

“This is why I don’t deserve happiness,” Nora insists. “I hated my father for song long, trading me away to Mallus just for his own chance at happiness, at getting what he always wanted, and I nearly did the exact same thing.”

“It’s different, Nora,” he insists, “You’re not your father.” 

“I might as well be,” she replies with a shake of her head, “I don’t deserve your love, Ray.”

“Nora-”

“You should go,” she says, cutting him off, “Don’t worry, I’ll find somewhere else to stay tonight.” 

For the first time since they began talking he doesn’t want to leave.

But he does.

If only because he can tell that is what  _ she  _ wants him to do. 

So he leaves. 

Ends up going to the lab because he’s not ready to go back to their room.

He’s going to find a way to help in this. 

If it’s the last thing he does.

Maybe he doesn’t understand magic, not really, but there’s a way to fight this. His Anti Magic Gun saved Nora before, nearly killed her as well, but there had to be a way to make this work. To combine science and magic.

To protect his family. 

“Gideon, where’s Constantine?”

There’s a slight hint of disapproval in the AI’s tone. “If you’re going to start a fight with Mr. Constantine, than I-”

“I’m not,” Ray insits, “I promise, I just need to talk to him.”

“I do not entirely believe you.”

He supposes that he deserves that.

A part of him really did still want to punch John.

“Regardless you’re in luck,” Gideon informs him, “As Mr. Constantine is already on his way here.” 

True enough, not a minute later John is there at the doorway into the lab.  

“I was looking for you,” John tells him. “Figured you’d want to talk.” 

“You’re lucky I promised Gideon not to fight you.”

John shrugs. “You don’t seem like the violent sort.”

“Not usually,” Ray agrees. 

John shifts slightly at that, crossing his arms over his chest, still keeping his distance. “If it make any difference, I didn’t know she was going to do that.”

“What? Leave without telling me, or offer herself up to a demon?”

“The second,” John says. “I might have advised the first.” 

Ray takes a deep breath.

Reminds himself of his promise to Gideon. 

“I’m not letting you use Nora as bait again.” 

“She wasn’t even supposed to be that close to the damned thing,” John insists, “I should’ve watched her better, she’s been a vessel before, an easy target-”

“Next time,” Ray cuts him off, “If someone needs to be offered as a vessel, you’re taking me instead.”

John sighs. “I’m not letting you do that.”

“This isn’t up for discussion-” 

John holds a hand up to silence him.

And Ray gives him that.

Gives him a chance to explain.

“You’re both so stubbornly overprotective of each other,” John says, sounding almost disgusted, “I feel bad for that kid, she’s going to have a set of helicopter parents, never going to get away with anything. Almost feel bad for the little birdie.”

“John-”

“I get it, I get it,” John stops him from speaking. “But I’ll make you a deal. Nobody’s offering themselves up as a vessel, but if you come up with something useful in here. Then next time I find where that demon is hiding, I’ll take you with me instead. Deal?”

It wasn’t much.

But if it could keep Nora safe.

“Deal.” 

John nods. “You know, I care a lot about Nora, not like  _ that _ , she’s like a little sister to me, so you better do right by her.”

“I love her,” Ray admits honestly, “I would move oceans for her if that’s what it takes.” 

“I believe you.”

 


	11. Chapter Ten - Nora

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm trying to finish this fic before the new year so the next few chapters are going to come fast and will be unbeta'd so get ready y'all

She’s not really certain how she managed to sleep.

In fact, she had been fully confident that she wouldn’t be able to, but there had been tiredness in her bones and when she had laid down in a bed that was too cold and empty, the tears had come all too easily, crying herself to sleep had taken hardly any time at all.

Though now waking up with the start of a headache, still alone in this no longer familiar room, she almost wishes that she could still be asleep. At least her sleep had been dreamless. The one good thing to come from all of this.

She wants to roll over and have Ray be there, to have him holding her when she feels so close to breaking, to be able to feel exactly what he’s feeling, to be connected to him in a way that she’s never been so connected to anyone else before.

But she no longer has that right.

That last thing she felt through their bond was his hurt. 

Hurt that he had caused him to feel. 

She doesn’t deserve to be able to check in on his emotions. 

Just like she doesn’t deserve to feel what their baby is feeling. 

All because she - 

“Miss Darhk,” there’s a touch of something like concern in the AI’s voice. The small part of her feels that she doesn’t even deserve that. “You’re close to having a panic attack.”

“I know,” Nora says, barely managing to force the words out. She tries to regulate her breathing, ignores how alone she feels, and instead asks, “How long was I asleep for?”

“Nearly fourteen hours.”

“Fuck,” Nora mutters. 

Pushing herself to sit up. 

There’s a bottle of water beside her bed that Nora swears wasn’t there when she fell asleep the night before, but she takes the small blessing for what it is, and drinks the water down in an attempt to lessen her headache. It’s not just her head that hurts, her whole body hurts, an ache that lingers deep inside of her.

She’s wasted over half a day sleeping. Though now that she’s sitting up and awake she’s not really certain what was the downside of that. It’s not as if she has anywhere to go really. Nothing to prepare after her  _ failure  _ with John the day before. No Ray waiting and worrying over here somewhere on the ship, ready to sit down for a warm cup of tea at any time of the day.

Instead there was nothing…

She feels like more of a prisoner now than she had in Time Bureau custody. 

John would just have a lecture if she hunted him down.

And Ray… Well she couldn’t blame Ray for not wanting anything to do with her. 

Not after she had been unable to say those three little words.

Of course, she loves him. She’s loved him for longer than she would ever be willing to admit, but even as he had said those words, she had known that she felt it too. That what she felt for Ray wasn’t just this bond made by their child. It’s so much more than that.

But she also knows that he deserves better.

Her hand rests softly on the curve of her stomach.

_ Both  _ of them deserve so much better. 

It’s that thought that spurs Nora into motion. Suddenly she knows exactly where she needs to go. Counts it as a small blessing that in the rush to get her to the medbay, Ava didn’t have time to put another Time Bureau tracker under her skin, or even take Nora’s time stone away. 

She hurries through getting dressed. Tugs on a pair of jeans, and a loose sweater that really does nothing to hide the fact of how close she is to being due. But it will have to do. It will be good enough.

And really if she plays her cards right she shouldn’t even be noticed. 

“Don’t tell anyone that I’ve gone,” Nora says, before grabbing the time stone. “I promise I’ll be back, I just need to see an old  _ friend  _ first.” 

Gideon doesn’t say anything in reply.

But she doesn’t openly try to stop her.

So Nora takes that as an agreeance and picks up the time stone. 

She really shouldn’t be using the stone so close to her due date, and especially after everything that has just happened, but a part of her needs this. Has needed this for a long time, but been too scared to take the leap and do so. To go into a place that was  _ her  _ own past. 

One of the few good memories, before everything went bad.

They’re at a zoo. 

It was a Christmas tradition, before that one year that they spent in Star City, and then all the years after that which she spent locked away with the sisters, never getting to see the bright lights or feel the cold air against her skin again. 

Mallus hadn’t wanted her to have such frivolous happy memories.

But she had, at one point, been a girl of no more than nine, staring up at the giraffe enclosure and rattling off  _ fun facts  _ that she had read in her study books - over the dim of the crowd if Nora listens for it, she can hear the younger, more innocent version of herself, proudly telling her parents that the giraffe has the largest heart of any land mammal. 

She has the vaguest memory of her father having bought her a stuffed giraffe, and as she looks the younger version of herself has one clutched in her arms, but Nora swears she must have dropped it at some point because she doesn’t recall the toy ever making it home. 

Nora lingers back, watches at a time in her life when her parents were both alive, when they were happy, and pretending to be normal for her sake.

They weren’t normal.

They never had been.

But this was before she knew the truth, about magic, and immortality, and criminal connections, and a plan to end the world and remake it in their perfect image. 

A part of her can’t help but wonder what things would have been like, had they really all been normal, had there been no skeletons hiding in their closet, no underground worlds, no demons to sell their daughter off to. 

Maybe she could still have a normal life.

Here and now.

If it wasn’t too late.

Maybe one day it could be her and Ray taking their child to the zoo, watching and lingering back, letting that innocence flourish without knowing the darkness that lurks just behind every corner. But then would they be any different from her parents? 

Ray maybe, Ray is so good.

But Nora…

How is she any different from her own father?

As if sensing her mind on him the man turns over his shoulder to meet her eyes. Nora freezes in place. There’s no way a trained assassin and immortal like her father wouldn’t have known that she was watching them. The fight or flight responses ring off in her head and Nora wants to grab the time stone from her pocket and disappear from it all.

Instead she jerks in gaze away in a manner which  is far too  _ obvious  _ and hurries away from the giraffe enclosure. 

She spends some time just watching the other animals. Pretending to look busy. To blend into the crowd. To not feel as if now  _ she  _ is the one being watched. This was why you weren’t supposed to interfere with your own past. Especially not with a family like hers. 

Nora tries to remember this day better, from the first time around, what animals they had missed seeing, as if there might be a safe place to hide away.

Which is why she eventually ends up in from of the lemur enclosure. 

Nearly certain that she had never watched them before. 

Her heart is still racing in her chest, the uncomfortable feeling of being watched still lingering there, not for the first time she wishes she had opened herself to more feedback from Ray or could feel anything from the baby.

At least then she would have something to ground her other than - 

“Sorry!”

There’s a bump against her side, and Nora freezes because she knows that  _ voice  _ because this isn’t supposed to happen. She tears her eyes away from the lemurs with a far too wide gaze at the little girl that bumped into her in her need to wedge to the front of the enclosure and see it all. 

The little girl that is unmistakably Nora. 

She knows that she should say something, but she can’t find the words, can’t bring herself to actually speak to her younger self. The child version of her shoots her silent older version an odd look for a brief moment, not a lingering one, not enough to remember. 

Until another all too familiar voice cuts through the crowd - “Nora doll, come on we’ve got to.” 

Nora turns instinctively.

The nickname kicking up a familiar ache in her chest.

The last time her father had called her that was right after sacrificing himself in her place and she… There’s the barest hint of tears in her eyes as she turns over her shoulder, just as the child version of herself turns and abandons her plans to look a the the lemurs in order to return to her mother and father.

This time when Nora meets her father’s eyes there’s no way he doesn’t know. And  _ she  _ knows that look, the one that tells her to stay, when a moment later she watches as he waves her mother and younger self along to the next enclosure promising that he will be along in a moment. 

_ This  _ she remembers. 

Or maybe she’s just making the memory now.

Time is complicated like that. 

He nods his head at her pointedly and steps back away from the crowd, from the families enjoying their Christmas day. Nora knows to come when beckoned, even though a part of her knows that this is a bad idea. That coming here in the first place was a bad idea.

But she had needed to do this.

Just like she needs this conversation.

“I know you,” he says, without much preamble.

Without easing into it.

She’s not sure why she expected anything less.

“No,” Nora says, even though they both know it’s a lie. 

He casts her a disapproving look.

The one that always made her want to confess everything that she’s ever done wrong. 

“I didn’t com here to fight,” Nora insists.

She doesn’t have much fight left in her, couldn’t even if she wanted to.

His eyes move down to the swell of her stomach, the obvious sign of her pregnancy, “I couldn’t imagine you being able to in this state.” 

She doesn’t deny that. 

Doesn’t know what to say.

So she remains silent until he prompts, “Berlin?”

She can’t deny that either. 

Her father continues even at her silence, “Either you’re immortal like I am, or a time traveler,” he states, “Or  _ both _ .” 

Nora’s looked much the same every time she’s glanced in the mirror over the last ten years, Mallus hadn’t wanted his vessel to age beyond her usefulness before it was time for him to rise… She should say something contrary. 

She can feel her magic buzzing just there under her skin. Ready to fight, ready to  _ defend  _ if it came to that, but something tells her that she won’t need to.

Something about the way her father is looking at her, as if he can see through her.

They didn’t wipe his memory in Berlin.

Perhaps they should have. 

“Well,” he prompts.

“Both,” Nora admits, suddenly feeling like a weight has been taken off of her shoulders. 

“Why are you here,” he asks, “To get your  _ revenge _ ?” 

“No,” Nora says quickly, probably too quickly, “No - I could never- I wouldn’t-”

He holds up a hand to cut her off.

And Nora falls silent, feeling like a child all over again. 

“I had thought it was a weakness back then,” he says slowly, “That I would be willing to sacrifice everything I had ever worked for to save one girl. I was wrong. You’re not a weakness.” 

_ You _ .

He knew.

As if there was ever a doubt.

“I-” Nora starts, only to stop.

Unable to bring herself to say anything.

Choking over her words.

“You’re the one good thing I gave this cruel undeserving world.”

She’s crying.

Unable to stop the tears from flowing now.

Couldn’t even if she wanted to.

Through her blurry eyes she watches as her father reaches into the pocket of his coat, pulling out the stuffed animal that had been put in there, by a child all too eager to explore and too busy to keep track of her belongings.

She had thought it lost years ago.

But now her father pushes the toy back into her hands. A  _ gift  _ for her own unborn child. 

For the one good thing that  _ she  _ will give this cruel undeserving world. 

“Go home, Nora,” he says, after doing so, and turns away to head back to  _ his  _ family without a second glance at her. 

She cannot move.

Cannot bring herself to follow him.

To continue the conversation.

Instead, she stands there for what feels like an infinite stretch of time. Crying and clutching at the small toy in her hand. Unable to calm herself down until eventually the chill of the winter air becomes too much for her to handle. Until the tears dry frozen on her cheeks.

_ Go home _ .

She’s not certain where home is.

Not certain that she has had a home in years.

But maybe, home doesn’t have to be a place, but instead a person. 

Her home is wherever Ray is.

On their room together on the Waverider.

With the man that she  _ loves _ .

She doesn’t wait to get away from the crowd. Everyone else too busy looking at the lemurs or paying attention to their family, to notice when the pregnant woman silently crying in the back, reaches into her pocket for her time stone and disappears. 

It only takes a moment.

A blink and you miss it instant.

And then she’s there, stumbling a little as she appears in their - in  _ Ray’s  _ room - he’s there, of course he is, it’s late in the evening now, he’s dressed down for bed. A sad look about him, that Nora can feel the vaguest hints of lingering in her chest, even though she’s done her best to hide away from his emotions. 

She can hear that sadness, that lingers in his voice, even as he attempts to make a light joke at her sudden appearance, to hide his shock - “You could have just knocked.”

Nora means to say something, maybe a joke in return, but she meets his eyes and suddenly the tears are back. Just when she thought she had no more left to crying. 

He’s so close and she can’t bring herself to close the distance between them.

Doesn’t think that she deserves to.

But there’s concern in his voice when he says, “Nora?” and he moves even when she cannot pulling her into his arms. Holding her close and she falls apart. Muttering soft and kind words that she doesn’t deserve, “I’m here for you” and “It’s okay,” and “I love you,” over and over again even though she never said the words back, even though she - 

“I can’t do this,” Nora says, somewhere between the tears. 

And when Ray pulls back slightly she feels her heart breaking all over again. 

“I can’t,” Nora shakes her head. “I’m going to be a terrible mother. I shouldn’t have let things get this far. I shouldn’t have tried to believe that we could be normal, because we can’t were never going to be. And I don’t think I can do this, fight this demon and protect our child, I can’t even protect myself, I can’t, I-”

“Yes, you can,” Ray insists. Stubborn as ever in his belief in her. “You are so good, I always knew you were good, I always say that inside of you. I gave you that time stone all those months ago because I believed in you back then, I saw the good even then, even before I really knew you and now you just keep proving that belief.”

“You were mistake,” Nora insists. 

Ray shakes his head. “I trust you. I  _ love  _ you, Nora, so much. Even if you don’t feel the way, I’ll never stop being in love with you, you’ll always have a piece of my heart.” 

The tears threaten to spill again, making her chest tight, as she says, “I hate fighting with you. I hate being away from you.”

“Me too,” Ray admits, pulling her back in for a hug. 

Nora goes willingly, burying her head there against Ray’s chest.

“I’m not mad at you,” Ray says. “I never could be. I just overreacted because I was so worried, and admittedly a little jealous that you trusted John with this but not me.”

“I didn’t want to lose you,” Nora insists, “I wanted to keep you safe.”

She doesn’t have to look at him to know that there’s a frown on his face as he says, “Losing you wouldn’t have kept me safe. I can’t do this without you.” 

_ Together. _

They were meant to be together.

The whole damn universe knew this even if she was too stubborn to admit it. 

This time it is Nora that pulls back, and even though he had been quiet about it, pulling back she can see the obvious sign that he is crying too. Her heart aches in her chest. They’re both hurting so much. It’s not fair.

She moves them until they’re both sitting on the edge of the bed, forces some space between them. 

Finally remembering the toy that her father had given her, she sets the stuffed giraffe on the edge of the bed. His eyes follow her movements, a questioning look there. 

She doesn’t know what to say, can’t admit where or  _ when  _ she’s just been. So instead she says, “Did you know that giraffes have the largest heart of any land mammal?”

And Ray smiles just for a second so softly, “Yeah, because of their long necks.”

Of course he would know. “It reminds me of you.” 

She can feel how much he is still hurting. Now that she has let her walls down. She can feel it all. She wants to say those words now, the ones that will make this all to much easier. But it doesn’t feel like the right moment. He wouldn’t believe her. Not when they’re both so open and hurting this way.

It isn’t the right time.

So she remains silent, until Ray finally speaks. “I never told you this before, but you’re not the first person I’ve fallen in love with.” 

Nora can’t help the small spark of jealousy that flares up inside of her.

Ray must feel it too, her emotions crossing their bond, because he reaches out and takes her hand and or a moment all she can feel is his love for  _ her _ , so overwhelming that she forgets about everything else. 

He continues speaking then. “Everyone’s always told me that I fall too easily. That I’ve got a soft heart or something…”

“You do,” Nora agrees.

Another small, but sad, smile. “But she was different. Anna was the very first one. She was everything I thought I had wanted as a kid, the perfect woman, I remember when we first met and she saw through all my walls instantly. Knew what person I was underneath it all, everything I had tried to hide and didn’t judge me for any of that.”

He’s speaking so softly.

Telling Nora about this other woman.

This woman that deserved the good and wonderful man in front of her, deserved him so much more than Nora does. 

“She sounds wonderful,” Nora admits. Though the jealous feeling still lingers tight in her chest.

“She was,” he agrees, “I had planned to spend my life with her, we bought a house together, I was going to take Palmer tech to the next level, and we were going to start a family together… And then…”

“And then?”

“And then I had to stand there, useless, unable to do anything, as she was brutally murdered right before my eyes.”

Dead.

She was  _ dead _ .

Suddenly Nora feels terrible at having felt jealous of a dead woman. 

Her stomach turns. She feels as if she might get sick. 

But Ray keeps speaking, “I thought that was the worst thing that could ever happen to me.” 

“It wasn’t?”

He shakes his head. “And then last year, I watched you die. I hadn’t even realized I was in love with you yet, but I must already have been… I was willing to risk breaking all of time, turning against my team and aligning myself with someone who had tried to kill me multiple times, if that meant that there was even a chance to save you.”

“I wasn’t worth all that,” Nora insists.

Not that she isn’t grateful to be alive.

But that thought was still there.

The one that had been there since the day she woke up in the Waverider’s medbay, to find out that her father had taken her place, sacrificed himself for  _ her _ , as if she had deserved any of that. 

“I’d risk so much more than that,” Ray tells her. “If that was what it took, I would’ve risked everything.”

“Ray-”

“And then you were gone and on the run, but that way okay because I knew that somewhere you were safe,” Ray insists. “Until you came back, and left again, only this time I couldn’t feel you. It was like losing Anna all over again, but so much worse, because it was  _ you _ . Both of  _ you _ .”

His grip on her hand tightens.

And she moves his hand so that it’s resting against the swell of her stomach.

Hopes that somehow he can feel their baby, even if she cannot. 

Hopes that he can feel that they’re both safe and well and here.

Though she doubts that will stop the tears from falling.

“I kept thinking about now not feeling you might have meant that you were already dead,” he continues. And Nora’s heart aches more. She had never meant to hurt him in all of this. Hadn’t thought about it. Hadn’t known. “I didn’t know why you left without saying goodbye, I kept going over our last conversation, wondering if I had said something wrong. If you had decided I was not good enough.” 

“You’re so good,” she insists. “I would never… It wasn’t because…”

“I didn’t know that that would be our last kiss and I-”

He’s crying again. Choking up. Fumbling over his words.

And Nora doesn’t want that to have been their last kiss.

So she leans forward and kisses him again. Holds him steady. Tires to hold them both together. 

She pours everything that she can’t bring herself to say into that kiss. Every emotion. The  _ love  _ that she feels deep in her soul, hoping that some way, somehow, he will know that she feels the same way he does. That the thought of losing him hurts her more than she can handle. 

She kisses him because she needs him.

Because she loves him.

Because the one thing she knows, without any doubt, is that she can’t do this without him.

 


	12. Chapter Eleven - Ray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would try and promise an update schedule but life is crazy and clearly I can't stick to one but uh, here have a chapter, it's nearly done!  
> (not beta'd because it took long enough just to have time to write...)

Things are going well, relatively speaking.

Until John says, “I’ve got another lead on the demon,” approximately ten seconds after Nora’s water breaks. 

She’s early, something that Gideon had warned was a possibility seeing as the stress of Nora’s own encounter with the demon hunting her just a week before. They’ve prepared and discussed this moment. Made arrangements with a doctor in DC that the Time Bureau trusts for their discretion and won’t be too surprised if something goes  _ magically  _ wrong during the delivery.

Which seeing as there’s a future Legend on the way, that’d be just about right on brand.

But the thing is, every time they’ve ran through this scenario in their heads, Ray is supposed to be there with her. He is supposed to grab the emergency back that they had packed and kept at the foot of the bed just in case. He is supposed to be there to hold Nora’s hand through every contraction. He is supposed to - 

“Ray.”

Nora’s voice, surprisingly calm given the situation, is the only thing that manages to cut through the fog in his head. 

As if she knows what he’s thinking instantly. 

And perhaps she does.

Somehow their connection has gotten even stronger in the last few minutes and Ray swears he can feel everything Nora is feeling, not just emotionally but a physical ache as well, and he can hear the conflict in her mind, as if she is whispering the words right into his ear. 

She doesn’t want to leave without him. 

But one of them has to go with John. 

Especially if the reason the demon has reappeared so suddenly is because - “No.”

“It would make sense,” Nora says, letting out a shaking breath as she says the words.

He reaches out a hand to steady her instantly. “I don’t want it to make sense.” 

“What else could it be,” Nora asks.

Before he can reply, Zari cuts in, “Can someone  _ without  _ a telepathic link maybe tell us what is going on here?”

John answers for him. “It’s back because it wants to use the baby as a vessel.”

“Fucking shit,” Sara mutters. 

“I was afraid you’d say that,” Zari groans. 

“Well, that’s not happening,” Ava insists. 

He can’t help the small look of surprise that flickers across his features as  _ Ava  _ of all people vouches her support. He’s not the only one, he can feel Nora’s abrupt surprise, and see it on the faces of most of his teammates. Ray is all too well aware that despite having blackmailed Ava into giving him papers for Nora to start a new life after all of this was over if she chose to, that they were still on rocky ground seeing as Nora had broken her parole twice in the last week. 

Ava seems oblivious from the looks of surprise from the gathered group. “I’m taking Nora to the hospital. The rest of you have a demon to send to hell.” 

He hesitates, “I-”

“I don’t want you to do this without you either,” Nora says, knowing him, without even needing to think about it. Her hand slips into his, bringing it up onto her stomach one last time, “But I need you to go make sure our baby comes into this world without anything hunting us.”

“Yeah, okay,” Ray nods, even if his heart aches at the thought of being away from them. 

“I’m going to go have this baby, and you’re going to take that anti-magic gun you’ve been working on and end this once and for all,” Nora insists, as if saying the words will make it easier for him to believe them. Easier for both of them to. “And everything is going to be perfect and happy and  _ normal _ .”

Ray smiles at that. “I think we lost our chance to be normal a long time ago.” 

“Oh probably,” Nora agrees before pressing up on her toes for a kiss.

Ray leans down to meet her, just a quick chaste thing, because the team is watching, and he’s going to make sure that there will be time for more later. Time for a thousand more. 

When they break apart Nora turns to John, her hand tightening against Ray’s as she speaks, “You bring him back to me, understand?”

“I’ll make sure he comes back safe and sound ot his girls,” John promises. 

There’s a beat of silence.

A moment where John’s words seem to sink in and Nora realizes something that Ray had put together a week ago. Something that he had admittedly done a good job not completely freaking out about and accidentally letting Nora know before she was ready. 

Though now… Now he can feel as her surprise, turns into something warm and soft, before she covers it up by faking annoyance. “Really John? You couldn’t have waited a few more hours, so I could have found out the normal way.” 

John for his part just shrugs. “Sorry, love.” 

“He might have slipped up to me a week ago,” Ray reluctantly admits.

Though the fake announce in Nora’s eyes falls away as she turns to look at him instead, a fondness that is there instead. A look reserved just for him. “Go save the world for our little girl.” 

“I will, I promise.”

It’s a flurry of movement after that. 

Ava using her time courier to take Nora to the hospital, meanwhile Sara punches the coordinates that John gives her into the Waverider’s navigational system. There’s discussion of what to do when they get there. A plan of some sort, that Ray really does try to listen to, but all he can feel is a fog in his mind. The distance from Nora, the distance he  _ knows  _ they need to have right now, almost too much to handle and - 

“It’s alright to be nervous, you know,” Sara tells him. 

Ray only realizing then that everyone else has gone to prepare, to change into their suits, or get last minute supplies. While Ray is still standing there, in the same place he had been standing ever since Ava took Nora to the hospital. 

“I’m not nervous really,” Ray admits. “More scared.” 

Sara nods, “Of what?”

“Everything.”

Sara’s smile is tight lipped, as she reaches out to give his arm a reassuring squeeze, “You’re going to be a great dad, Ray.” 

He’s still not one hundred percent sure of that.

Maybe he had been before, but the closer they get…

“I-” 

He’s cut off before he can even try to put his fears into words, as John pushes his anti-magic gun into his hands. “Figured you’ll be needing this.”

“Right,” he steadies his grip on the gun. Pushing down everything else he was feeling at the moment, because while  _ yes  _ it was a lot, he has to do this first. Has to take care of this. To keep his girls safe.

Time seems to slow down once they get there.

Ray’s focus scattered about, on the team preparing and laying a trap, on the feeling of Nora in the back of his head, their bond strong even across the distance, loud inside of his head. Time seems to tick onwards, so slow at first that it doesn’t seem real. He blames it on the feeling of being distracted by what’s going on with Nora, or even his own apprehension of what is to come. 

Not realizing really how odd it all is, until time finally seems to stop. 

He’s not certain how long he had been standing there, waiting for the other shoe to drop, holding onto his anti-magic gun and just waiting.

But it had been a while.

Too long.

And not long enough.

Because when he finally tears his inner focus away from the woman thousands of miles away from him, and back to the present he realizes that is wrong. John, Zari, Sara, Mick, all of them seem frozen in place.

Not moving.

Not speaking.

Stopped in the middle of doing something.

Frozen in time.

While a yellow fog had seemed to settle over the empty field that they were gathered in. Their trap still unset, but the bait,  _ he,  _ had been accepted nonetheless.

Nora had described it to him before, back when they were coming up with the plan for when he would be the one to go. The swirling mess of yellow like webs, connecting and covering everything, was how she had described it. The trap that she had fallen into before when she had gone with John. 

She even described those that had hunted her at the beginning. Demon vessels like she had once been. The figures, a number of them, ghastly, featureless, but for bright yellow eyes that seemed to glow in the dark, that made sounds like nails of a chalkboard as they chased after her. 

But this…

This dull fog.

The voice in the back of his head.

It was nothing like what Nora had prepared him for. 

Temptation. 

An offer.

He sees it now, so clearly, the yellow fog, the frozen figures of his friends slipping away. Replaced with the image of what could be. 

Peace.

Safety.

For Nora and their baby.

All he had to do was become the demon’s vessel in their place. Swear to give up his soul to the demon when this is all over. A fair trade, to keep those he loves safe. 

It would be so easy.

All he has to do is say -

_ No _ .

Nora’s voice is there, somehow, louder than any demon. There in the back of his head in the place that has always belonged to her.

_ Ray come home. _

It’s her voice that gives him the strength to resist the temptation, to bring the anti-magic gun up, and finally pull the trigger. 

It’s forever.

It’s a second.

Reality snapping back into place.

The fog disappearing.

His friends moving again.

John saying something about the  _ demon _ ’s presence disappearing.

But he feels none of it.

Because the only thing Ray can feel is the absence of feeling itself.

Because the second he pulled the trigger, something more than just the demon disappeared…

A gasp tumbles from his lips, pained, and he vaguely recognizes notes of concern, but all he can manage is - “Nora… Something’s happened to Nora.” 

  
  
  



	13. Chapter Twelve - Nora

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have literally had this sitting in my gdocs for like two months being like,,, I'm going to add more to this scene. And now I'm just like "nope this chapter will just be short everything else can go in the epilogue" so that'll be up tonight. Sorry I'm a mess y'all.

For a moment the world is quiet.

Almost too quiet.

She feels it as if she is not herself, but an onlooker gazing in on the chaos of the hospital room. The flurry of power, swirling out from around her, knocking down tables and chairs. A scream on her lips, a need for someone that is not there, someone else to be holding onto her hand reminding her to breathe. 

There’s pain.

Physical, yes certainly.

But mentally.

Emotionally.

The magic inside of her coming undone, unspooling out and forth, being tempted to somewhere dark, darker than she was ever meant for.

She calls out his name. 

Not just with words.

But across their bond.

One last time.

And then…

There’s nothing. 

Silence.

The absence of the familiar sensation of Ray in the back of her head that she had grown to find comfort in over the last few months. The absence of any feelings or sound at all.

For a moment that seems to stretch forever there is nothing at all.

And then, a single cry breaks the silence. 

A part of her wonders what this might have been like if their lives had been easy. If there wasn’t a demon chasing her for the better half of the year. If she didn’t have magic coursing through her veins. If the doctors and nurses taking care of her weren’t soon to have their minds wiped by the Time Bureau.

If she could be normal.

Happy.

At peace.

Like the demon had wanted to promise her.

Like the trap she had almost fallen down into.

But then again, she had never really been meant for normal.

And this.

This was better than normal.

“She’s a girl,” one of the nurses announces for her. 

“I know,” Nora says, finally finding her voice, finally finding time moving again. “John ruined the surprise.”

The nurse is politely confused by her reply, while Ava sitting down in the chair next to the bed and rubbing at her hand where Nora might have squeezed just a little too late lets out a small laugh. “Constantine has a habit of ruining things, doesn’t he?”

Nora doesn’t reply.

Can’t think of any words to say.

Not when a second later the nurse is putting her daughter into her arms.

For the first time in months, Nora finally feels peace.

No more running, no more fear, no more doubt.

Just love, love so overwhelming that she cannot help but cry.

Looking down at the one thing she almost lost.

“I promise, nothing bad will ever happen to you,” Nora whispers to her baby girl. “I’ll make sure of it. I’ll hurt anyone who ever even looks at you wrong. I’ll-”

“Nora!”

Her breath freezes there in her chest, choked up at tight, the words suddenly falling short.

She would ask how he got there so fast, but she’s certain that the second the demon was taken care of they opened a time courier portal right into the room. In the end, it doesn’t matter asking.

What matters is that he’s there.

“Took you long enough,” Nora says. The words without a teasing edge, lost in the tears, and when she looks up to meet Ray’s eyes, there’s tears in his too.

Even though she cannot feel his emotions any longer.

She feels this.

Feels him here with her now.

They’re safe.

And happy.

And together.

And that’s all that matters.

She smiles at him, through the tears, and asks, “Would you like to finally meet your daughter?”

  
  



	14. epilogue

“You’re not still running away, are you?”

It’s quiet here. Still in the hospital room, her baby have been taken by the doctors to run a few tests, Ray accompanying them. Unwilling to lose sight of their newborn daughter for even a second. 

Nora would have followed with had she had the energy for it.

As it was, she was struggling just to keep herself awake, the whole ordeal, both the literal birth of her child, and the severing of the magic bond between all of them, had taken a lot out of her. A lot more than Nora would normally be willing to admit.

But in this case - “I don’t think I could manage it right now, even if I wanted to.”

Still, even as she says the words, her eyes flicker to the time stone sitting not too far away. She could reach out and grab it. Disappear to some other time and place. But where would that leave her. 

Running again. 

And alone.

She can still feel it, the emptiness in the back of her mind, in the space that Ray and there little girl used to take up. It was  _ her  _ magic, the magic of a child just beginning, that had tied them all together. That had brought Nora right back to where she belonged, even when she hadn’t been willing to admit to herself where she needed to be. 

And now…

She looks up at the other woman. The one that had rushed her to the hospital, held her hand through the whole process, despite them being nothing more than acquaintances. If even that. For a moment, her would be jailer, had almost felt like a friend. 

Of course, Nora should have known better.

She lets out a small sigh, shifting to sit up slightly, so that she can face Ava better.

“If you’re going to toss me back into a cell-”

“I won’t,” Ava cuts her off.

All of the carefully planned out words die in Nora’s throat, as all she can ask, in a hesitant voice of her own is - “You won’t?”

“I could have you arrested,” Ava says, the words sounding familiar. She’s heard them before. Months ago, when this all began. “I  _ should  _ have you arrested, but I’m not… I’m not as heartless of a person as you might imagine me to be.” 

Nora shrugs. “I wouldn’t blame you if you had wanted to. Just doing your job, right?”

“I’d at least have the decency to give you a head start,” Ava offers with just the smallest of smiles.

Nora finds herself smiling back, in spite of everything. 

“There’s a lot we don’t know about each other,” Ava says eventually, “But I don’t think we need to be enemies. Though I suppose we can talk about that later.”

Right on cue Ava turns towards the door to the hospital room, and Nora follows her gaze to where Ray lingers there. Waiting quietly, with a bundle in his arms,  _ their  _ bundle in his arms. 

Ava quickly nods at both of them before slipping out of the room, leaving the couple and their child alone.

“Should I be worried about that,” Ray asks. She can tell he’s already worrying. Hear it in his voice, even if she can no longer feel the feeling in her chest. 

Nora just shakes her head and reaches out for him. 

With great care Ray settles their daughter down into Nora’s arms, before taking the place next to her on the hospital bed. It’s not an easy fit. Not really meant for two people, but they manage it. Pressing closer together, never far apart, never again. 

“I don’t think so,” Nora says softly. 

“That’s good,” Ray nods. “She didn’t uh… Happen to mention anything about a pardon or paperwork that I may or may not have blackmailed Ava into giving me or anything did she because-”

“ _ Blackmail _ , really Ray,” Nora says, skeptical almost, “Since when did you blackmail people.”

“I’d do anything for you,” Ray insists.

Nora doesn’t doubt that for a second.

He would.

She knows this.

He fought a demon for her.

For  _ them _ . 

“Is there any other secrets that you’re keeping from me?”

“Well,” Ray says slowly, “I may have gotten us an apartment, baby proofed and everything, and I’ve been thinking of taking an active role in Palmer Tech again, instead of time traveling, that way I can spend more time at home with my two favorite girls.” 

Nora can’t help the sound that spills forth from her.

Something caught between a laugh and a cry.

The happiness taking hold of her.

Her eyes drawn on the baby in her arms that reacts at the sound of her laugh. 

Their baby.

She had tried to make promises before, tried to find the right words to say. Looking down at their little girl now, she still can’t seem to find them. Can only imagine spending the rest of her life trying to find the right words. 

She’ll be a better parent than either of hers ever were.

No matter what it takes.

That much is a promise she can make.

A promise she can hold deep down inside of her.

Until all the doubts and worries in her mind quiet down. 

“Can you believe, we made something, so good and pure,” Nora asks, a tone of reverence in her voice. 

Ray presses a kiss against the side of Nora’s head, voice soft and true, just the words she needs to hear. “A perfect little arrangement of atoms.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thats it! that's the end! come yell at me on twitter @plinys (i do talk about legends there, even if it currently looks like im just telling about kpop) if you liked the fic (or tell me on anon in my cc inbox) (or comment here!)! i hope people liked this in the end!

**Author's Note:**

> Find me (and yell about Darhkatom with me) on tumblr and twitter @ plinys


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